It's All About Taking Chances
by Andy2301
Summary: Luby Abby's POV through out Season 12 In Hiatus till further notice
1. Unspoken Desires

_Disclaimer: _I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning: _This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

_Sydney died. She shouldn't have died. Why didn't we stop it from happening? I shouldn't have listened to Clemente. I shouldn't have let this happen! God, why didn't I push in the saline…? _As I walk from the ER into the ambulance bay all I can think of is her. The face she had when she was rolled in, her look when she spoke with her mother over the phone. Her heart in my hands… _I shouldn't have to do that at all! Not with kids. Nobody should. _She should have been playing with dolls not playing harlot with that psycho. And then I can only think of Luka. The anger wells inside of me. He just left me to handle the case all by myself.

I start walking to the El, oblivious to the people and cars around me. I'm too focused on the whole evening. I'm angry. Angry at Clemente, Luka and myself. I'm not going to shout at Clemente or feel miserable by myself. I head out of the El and begin to walk. And it's then I realize where I am. In front of Luka's apartment. _Why am I here? And how did I get here? So is this who I want to shout at? _

I get into the elevator and back out. I hear the bell ring. I wait, fidgeting. No answer. And I do it again and again. _Maybe he is not home. I should've known. Probably out drinking. Maybe I just need a hot bath._ I begin to walk back to the elevator when I hear the door open. I look around and there he is. Looking rather worn out. _Is it sick that I'm pleased to see that?_

"Hey" he says.

And I just "Hey" him back.

"Wanna come in?" I nod.

I walk down the stairs into his apartment. _Where do I start?_ And then I just say

"You didn't, you didn't go to the debriefing?"

"Did you?"

"Yeah, it was just me, Eve and Clemente."

"Are you hungry? I've got some pizza, if you want I can warm it up in the microwave?"

_No, of course I'm not hungry. Why does he think I'm here? Well, to start with I'm not sure why I'm here._ So I cut him off and say

"No, I'm not hungry"

He just says ok. I guess he realizes something is wrong because after that I stay quiet and he had no better idea than to ask me if I'm mad about something. I stare at him and I can't quite believe he just asked that. _Of course, I'm mad! Where has he been all day?_ But I guess I think better of it and say:

"What do you think?"

"Yes, look I didn't need to go to the debriefing."

_What! God, that's not what this is about! _I say:

"I don't care about that!"

He just doesn't get it because the next thing I know he is asking me what I'm talking about. _Oh my God I can't believe this. Do I have to tell him? I just can't say it… Crap, I guess I will have to explain it all to him. _And I begin… it's like a dam, I just opened the water flow and now I don't think I'm going to be able to stop it.

"I'm talking about you and Clemente and whatever is going on between the two of you. If you want to get into a pissing match with him, that's fine. Just leave me out of it."

_He just has to say it, doesn't he? _

"He was wrong"

_What the hell! So is that what this is about?_ _Jesus. He really doesn't get it and now I'm getting way too emotional and I hate it._

"Oh yeah… And that's the most important thing, isn't it? He was wrong and you were right. And while you were arguing about it the little girl died… As if she hadn't suffered enough."

_I just did it. I said it. I can't believe I did. I guess I just blamed him for everything that happened tonight… but I can't just stop here… _Now I'm almost crying… I can't look at him but_ I have to say it…_

"God, she was 10 years old Luka! And he had her for months and I just…"

_Damn it, I can't cry in front of him, but I was only gone for a few hours. Months? It makes me sick to think about it._

"I just… I just can't stop thinking about what she must've gone through and I can't stop thinking about how afraid she must've been and I can't stop thinking about why we couldn't save her"

And now I'm crying. I can't stop, and he is walking towards me looking guilty and concerned. _What does he think he's doing? _

"I just…"

And he takes my face in his hands and makes me look at him. I have to close my eyes. I don't want him to see the tears. When I open them again he is just inches away. And he finally kisses me. Tender. Gentle. And without thinking I kiss him back. _Oh my God! I'm kissing Luka! Those lips, that feeling! I can't believe he is actually kissing me! And I'm kissing him back! Why! This isn't what was supposed to happen. _He brushes his lips against mine and I have to open my eyes, I can't leave them shut forever. I look into his eyes expecting an answer for what has just happened. _Is he out of his mind?_ And then I see it. The tender, compassionate look. There was no other way. He just explained, with his lips, what he couldn't vocalize. And I get it. And just like that, I forgive him. And then I can see the corner of his mouth flicker into a small smile and I just can't help it and do the same.

He stared at me for what seems like an eternity. Contemplating. And I'm squirming under his intense gaze but I can't look away. _I don't know what to say._ _What should I say? He just kissed me! Though I did kiss him back. I can't do this._ He moves his hands and caresses my cheek. It feels warm and comforting. And it's then when I realize where my right hand is. I just moved it to his waist and I didn't even notice it! He bends down again to kiss me. But this kiss isn't like the one before. This one is purposeful… intense. Passionate. His tongue is probing my mouth and I just can't help but welcome it. My arms move behind his head and I can feel his hands moving downwards to my waist to embrace me and pull me closer. His heart is beating against my chest. It's pounding really hard and mine seems to be about to explode out of my own. After a while, I realize what I'm doing and I just have to stop this. _I came to talk about Sydney not to make out with Luka._ So I gently push him away.

I look again to his eyes. And he looks back at me. We are still standing rather close and I can't seem to find any words. _What is there to say? Why did he kiss me? Why did I kiss him? _I guess I'm not the only one thinking that because he speaks:

"I… Abby, look… I'm sorry about what happened today with Sydney. I really am, but I…"

He has tears in his eyes now. And this time… I kiss him. _I want to let him know it's okay. I understand. I know he's in pain too._ He is taken aback by my sudden kiss but moments later I can feel him kissing me harder than before. His hands are under my shirt and making their way up. My hands are moving too and it looks like they have a mind of their own as they travel down to his waist pulling his shirt from the hem of his pants. He must be thinking something similar as his hands are suddenly removing my coat. _I can't believe this is happening._ _What are we doing? Should I stop him?_ _I can't… this feels to good, and so right. Besides I was the one that started this kiss._ So I let him kiss me harder and reluctantly pull away to let him pull my shirt over my head. He's leaving a trail of kisses down my neck, onto my chest. I undo his own shirt and as I touch his bare chest the his familiar heat from his body warms my fingers. We finally part from the kiss and look at each other again.

_I have to say something. I can't let him think that I'm here for this! _

"Luka… I…"

My voice betrays me… I don't seem to find the words… So he moves his fingers to my lips and touches them softly. His eyes are asking me a question that he is afraid of asking. And as I still can't find the words I just nod in agreement to the unasked question. He pulls me into an embrace and I just let him hold me. I look up to him and he kisses me. I move my hands again to the back of his neck and he lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist instinctively. Pushing my hair to the side, he's nibbling at my neck. He's walking towards the stairs. _What? We're going to his bedroom? Bad idea!_ But I just can't stop kissing him; this feels too good to stop him. Half way up, I find myself pressed against the wall. Jesus, he feels so good. As he makes his way up I can feel his kiss deepen and I feel my doubts receding quickly.


	2. Doubts

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic._

_Warning: This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything._

_This is my first fic so..._

_Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!_

_

* * *

Where am I? Is that my hand? Well, one of those is… but the other one? Oh no… it was a dream, it was a dream… _I repeat myself that as I turn around to find Luka sleeping peacefully by my side. _Oh Crap, it wasn't a dream. What did I do? I can't believe this! And I even fell asleep! How did I let this happen?_ I move slowly so he doesn't wake up_. I have to get the hell out of here. I'm out of bed, that's good but it's cold!_ I find a towel in the bathroom and wrap myself with it. I need my underwear._ I can't go anywhere without it._ And I'm looking for it in the floor, just hoping he doesn't wake up. 

"What are you doing?"

Busted… I have to look at him and he is smiling. _Oh Crap…_

"Looking for my underwear."

"Are you on tonight?"

"No"

"Why are you leaving?"

_Well, because we slept together!_

"I just thought I should…"

"You should stay."

_Oh my God that smile again!_

"I probably shouldn't" That's all I get to say before he grins at me. "I've got a lot of stuff I need to do and…"

He begins to pat the bed in an attempt to locate my underwear. He extends the sheets and there is my bra flying to my hand.

"Oh, your bra"

"Thank you" I say while I can't hold back a smile.

"Panties…" he says while he throws them at me gently.

I can't help it and keep smiling at him. He asks me if I still like ketchup on my eggs, I nod.

"I'll make us some breakfast." He pulls the covers and heads downstairs.

"I think we probably slept through breakfast… and lunch!"

I get dressed. I will have to face him eventually, _I'm at his house!_ And specially because in my recollection of last night I remembered my shirt was left downstairs. So finally I get some courage and walk into the room. I locate my shirt and put it on. He's looking at me with a grin on his face. I walk into the kitchen and I see he's serving the eggs into a plate. He hands me the plate and I sit at the table.

"Coffee?"

"Depends what you mean by coffee… Your coffee or what most people call coffee?"

He just laughs at me and hands me a cup. I smell it. _It's just regular coffee thanks God… I don't think my stomach can handle his Turkish mud at the moment. I'm feeling sick, but not because of something I ate, mostly of the situation I got myself into._ Apparently we just have an agreement to let things unspoken for the moment. _The silence isn't uncomfortable at all and that it's what's making me feel even more weird inside._ We sit there eating "breakfast" after a while we just head to the kitchen. He does the dished and I'm rinsing them.

And then comes the blast… The whole apartment shakes really bad and the sound of something falling…

"What the hell was that?"

I look around at him and he is confused too. We both run to the window and see that there is a lot of smoke coming from behind some buildings.

"Oh Crap…" That's all I get to say before he heads to the TV to turn it on.

"What do you think that was?" I asked him.

"Not sure, but for the sound of it I believe it's pretty bad."

And then the pagers begin beeping like crazy… I look at him. He runs to the phone and calls the ER. I can hear him talking, apparently with Jerry. When he disconnects the call he looks at me in a worried way.

"A plane crashed in the middle of Chicago"

"You are kidding, right?"

"No, unfortunately I'm not."

"Oh my God, it's going to be a mess!" That's all I can think of… _A plane?_

"I know…"

"We should go then. Where did I leave my bag?" I look around for it and I see he is picking it up from behind the couch.

"Thanks"

"Let me get dressed and we are out of here."

I nod. He runs upstairs and 5 minutes later we are in his car. I look at him and say…

"Luka, about last night…"

I know he wants to look at me for longer than a minute but he needs to face the road.

"Maybe we should talk about this when we get off from work, what do you think?" He says.

"Yeah, you are probably right."

I just have to agree, _that would actually give me some time to know what to tell him actually. I wasn't even sure what I wanted. Was it good? I mean last night was great but I'm not in the mood to be just a one night stand, or to screw things up with Luka. He is one of my closest friends and I know we haven't spoken much in the last year, but I know I can count with him no matter what._ Next thing I know he is parking about two blocks from the ER.

"It's better if I leave it here. It's going to be a mess closer" I just nod.

When we get to the ambulance bay, Clemente is there giving orders to everyone about what to do. I walk into the ER with a patient and then everything is so hectic and blurry. All I can remember was working with Luka on a patient, Baxter. Luka congratulated me on the job and I just couldn't help but smile. _Maybe it wouldn't be that bad if we stay together. That is the first time I think it might be a possibility. _We were heading back to the elevator with Baxter. He was proud with himself for cheating death twice on a day.

"Very lucky" Luka says.

And then Baxter says he is calling off his wedding…

"Oh… You might want to sleep on that" I say and Luka adds:

"Maybe you two should talk about that"

But he is looking at me. _He wants us to talk, I know I want to talk to him too. I think I know what I want now. I want to give it a shot. And for the first time today I don't have any doubts._ Apparently Baxter wants to seize the day! Carpe Diem! Before the door of the elevator closes we hear him say:

"Besides I'm pretty sure I'm gay"

_What? Oh my God… maybe he should call off the wedding after all!_ I look up at Luka who is just smiling.

After that I head looking for Neela, she needs to be checked out after all she's been through. When I finally find her she is heading home. I begin telling her she needs to be kept in observation but she leaves me anyway standing in the middle of the street. I had blabbered to her I had slept with Luka in my urge to keep her at the hospital but it didn't work, she didn't believe me. _Well, let's face it... I can't believe it myself so why would anyone else believe me?_

I'm walking back into the ambulance bay when I see Luka coming through the door. And now I'm officially nervous.

"Hey" he says.

"Hi…"

After an odd silence, to which I'm not sure how to break it, I just say the first thing that comes to my head.

"Rough night"

"Yeah, I'm glad it's over"

"Me too." I have to agree. I'm looking at him waiting for him to talk but as he doesn't then I just say:

"Ah, did Baxter get upstairs alright?"

_I don't think he was expecting me to say that_ but he answers:

"Oh, he's fine. Not so sure about his fiancée though"

And we smile. _Why stop the unstoppable_ I think so I let it out

"Listen I was thinking about…" at the same time he does.

"Sorry" he says.

"No, you go ahead."

_I have to let him talk first, please let him finish. I'm not sure what I'm going to say now that I have him in front of me._ And he wants me to go ahead and I want him to say it. He smiles and folds his arms.

"Ok… I was thinking about…"

He is looking around nervously and I do the same.

"I was thinking about what happened… last night..."

After he says that he gazes at the floor and I just nod. _Not sure what to say now_ but I manage to get out:

"It was nice…"

_It was nice! Come on Abby! You can do better than that! Nice? It was more than nice!_ But he just asks:

"Nice?"

_Oh my God… he doesn't think it was nice! Now I want to die, please let me die!_

"Yeah, wasn't it?"

And now he says:

"No… Yeah, of course"

_Oh thanks God! I thought he was going to say it wasn't…_

"but?" I have to ask… there is something not right here and I really need to know.

"What?" He asks in reply.

"I don't know…" And I'm looking at him trying to figure out what's going on here. He is getting more nervous and just stares at the floor again.

_Why can't I find some words? I need to say something!_

"I don't know, what do we do now?"

"Not sure…"

_Is that his reply? I mean, come on! Give me a clue Luka, tell me if this is alright or not!_ I'm looking at him again and I know he wants to say something because he opens his mouth to speak but no sound comes out, so I just let him gather the words…

And then he says it:

"For a long time, even when we weren't connecting a lot, you've… you've been the one person I can count on…"

_Well, that makes sense..._ so I nod while I add:

"I felt like that too"

"And that friendship means a lot to me…"

_Oh no… don't go there, because that's much worse than last night not being nice… I have to say something… so_

"Me too" _Me too?_ And then he's staring at me… "So?" _I'm kind of angry now, because he isn't saying anything and because I thought there was something else here. Let's just end this…_ "Maybe we just leave it at that then..."

He is looking at me and I know he wants an explanation, but he says:

"I don't know, I don't want to lose that… but if that is what you… I mean is that… if that's what's best…"

I have to cut him here…

"So that's what we just saying is that, we just stay friends?"

_Please say no! Please say no!_ And then I feel my heart break when he nods.

"Need a lift?"

_A lift! No, I need to die! Why did I agree to this?_

"No, I have some stuff I need to finish inside"

"Night" he says.

"See you" and as I start walking I almost bump into him.

_I need to sit down!_ I'm walking back to the ER and I all I can think of is that _I made a huge mistake._ I turn around to tell him but he is walking and doesn't seem to want to stop. _So maybe this is it… just a one night stand and we are back to normal. Well, will everything be normal now? And what's normal?_ I turn around again to face the ER and keep on walking.


	3. Charming

_Disclaimer: _I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning: _This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

A week has gone by just like nothing. I go to work as usual and find thatLuka is in a meeting with Clemente and Kerry so I don't have to talk to him right away. _Good… this new agreement is driving me crazy. Can we stay friends? That's the question I've been asking myself all along. I mean, it wasn't the first time we slept together so maybe it's not that difficult... But still some part of me wants to scream not to settle with just that._

I was taking care of a drunk patient, Glenda, when he comes in.

"Hey, Ortho is here for a tip fib…" Glenda is bleeding in her arm and he says: "Nice…"

We discuss about her condition and after a while I ask him:

"How was your little sit down with Weaver this morning?"

"Ah, she was telling me and Dr. Clemente how charming we are."

I have look at him to say: "Oh, really?"

I guess he noticed I was being sarcastic because he replies:

"What? You don't think I'm charming?"

_Oh my God... Is he flirting?_

"I think you are extremely charming. But I just also think that…"

I can't finish the statement because Glenda decides to interrupt us. After he holds Glenda's arm still he adds:

"She was telling us that we have to get along better… You know, be a better impression to our residents and be more… agreeable."

_Agreeable! Luka agreeable… and with Clemente!_ I have to remind myself not to laugh even though a smile comes out when I say:

"Well, that's a lot to ask"

"You don't think I'm agreeable?"

"I think you are agreeable, yeah…"

_What am I supposed to say?_ And he says:

"Yeah, but you still think I'm full of…"

Glenda cuts the conversation again after she slaps me in the head. He is called in for a consult and I was left alone with Glenda just thinking about what just happened. _Is this how it's going to be now? _

_The rest of the day was really hasty, specially when I have to present to both, Clemente and Luka, who in their agreeable contest almost cause Glenda to bleed to death into her head. So instead of giving them the chance to do the same with a five year old boy I present the case in a way they don't have nothing to object. Well, I actually didn't give them the chance. I was getting tired of the agreeability between the two of them. _

_Anyway, besides my patients there was something else going on that day which turned out to be more important. Michael was back from Iraq. Neela and him had decided to get married that day and after arranging all the details I ended up agreeing to be their Maid of Honor. I had to go back home to change or I would have to wear the same clothes I used all day to work. I was trying to discharge all my patients to Ray but I wasn't able to find him anywhere and it was then when Luka came and walked me out while I presented him the cases. _

"Well, presented plan by the way."

He is talking about my presentation on Stewie, the five year old boy who had pneumonia.

"Yes, I had to do something."

And I'm looking at him smiling and he is freezing only with his lab coat so he is moving to keep himself warm.

"Well, like you said I'm not very good at being agreeable"

"I didn't say that!" I have to defend myself…

"You implied it!" He says…

"I said it was a lot to ask… and it turns out I was right not that I'm happy about it."

"Yeah, of course not…" And I'm staring at him… _thanks God he was looking at the floor so he didn't realize._

Then it hits me: "And I'm really late… Are you coming to this wedding? It's in the hospital's chapel…"

I had walked to the middle of the ambulance bay, and I was waiting for him to answer.

"I don't know… lot's of things to finish up… see you in the reception, yeah?"

"Right"

I turn around and start walking really fast because _Neela is going to kill me! But at the same time I'm really happy because he is going to the reception. What's going on with me! I keep flirting at him and we are supposed to stay just friends… How long can I pull this up?_


	4. More Than Just Friends

_Disclaimer: _I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning: _This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

The wedding was beautiful and I was more excited about Luka coming to the reception that anything else. _I have to remind myself that we have decided to stay friends, I need to keep repeating that inside my head._ He finally arrives and sits next to me at the bar.

"Hey"

"Hi, you made it."

"Yeah, I had to revive your little patient, Stewie…"

"What? What happened?"

I look at him confused. _I mean he had pneumonia but he seemed alright when I left._

"His mother turned out to be HIV positive and didn't do anything to prevent her kids from getting the virus. It was a mess, Clemente freaked out and shouted at her. She didn't want us to treat him. Finally we convinced her and we moved him to PICU."

"Wow. I can't believe it. So I guess that's why she freaked out for an x-ray!"

I just stare at my glass thinking that _some people are really weird._

After a while he looks at me and say:

"So you are not going to believe who is the New Chief of the ER?"

"Who? Please don't tell me it's Clemente because I'm going to die."

He laughs at my statement and then says:

"Nope, you are actually looking at him"

"Really? Congratulations!"

We are interrupted when everyone is cheering at Morris in his attempt to limbo.

After Morris falls to the floor I look back at Luka and I can't help but tease him about the whole situation.

"Do we have to call you Chief now?"

"Very funny" he says will he has a huge grin on his face.

I can't stop here so:

"You know, if you've been interviewed do they say _We are here at County talking to Chief Kovac_…"

"They don't do it that way."

"I'm just saying I think it's cute if it's a guy" _I didn't just say that… How did I dare?_

"And if the Chief is a woman?" He asks me.

_I have to say it just to put him in an odd situation_:

"I don't think women should be put in position to leadership. Do you?"

He only manages to say

"Peanuts...?"

While he moves the plate closer to me. _Ok, let's change the subject._

"Ah, young love they just have to show it off to everybody" I say while looking at Neela and Michael sitting together and having fun.

We are back facing the bar when he takes the bottle of beer he has in front of him and makes a toast.

"Here is to discretion…"

I get my own drink in my hand and add:

"Propriety…"

And he finishes with:

"Maturity..."

"Well…" I say…

I make him change his mind because he says:

"No, not to that…"

We stay at the party until I remember I still have to work tomorrow so I head to talk to Neela.

"Hey Neela, is it alright if I go home early? I'm sorry but I'm really tired, it was a long day."

"Of course, thanks for being my Maid of Honor!" she says while we hug.

Luka who was talking to Michael says:

"I think I'm leaving too. I don't want to be late tomorrow as it is my first day as Chief. If not Kerry will hang me!"

We all laugh. After the proper goodbye's to the rest of the staff we walk outside and he says:

"Need a lift?"

"Yeah, why not. I'm not in the mood for the El and I'll be home much faster. I think I might not even get to the bed tonight. I'm exhausted!"

He smiles and as we are heading to his car he adds:

"I'm pretty tired myself. It was a long day and having to agree with Clemente is exhausting!"

I just have to laugh at his remark. We are both laughing actually. _So this isn't that bad. I mean, we can have a proper conversation and I'm not feeling odd at all._ We get into his car, he turns on the radio and he drives to my apartment. I tell him about the wedding and how is Jerry as _father superior_. We just laugh all the way.

When he pulls the car in front of my apartment he is singing _Copacabana_ which happened to be at the party and now on the radio. I look up at him and he starts humming when he realizes I'm watching him. And then I just have to laugh.

"Ok, well thanks for the ride."

He laughs too.

"That bad, eh?"

_What am I supposed to say to that?_

"No… I would just… keep your day job…"

"What you never sing in the car? You know, when you are alone?"

"Sometimes I do, yeah… but you are not alone in the car."

I just have to laugh again. _What's wrong with me? I can't stop smiling and laughing!_

"Yeah, I know" he says.

"I'm just kidding" I say.

_And then we do have an odd moment, the first one in a long time. I'm not quite sure what to do now. Should I invite him in? Will he think I want something more if I do? I really want him to stay, I want to talk to him and… Oh God… I don't want to be just his friend! I still can't believe I agreed to that. The silence it's becoming uncomfortable and I know he just looked at me waiting for something… what should I say? The hell with friendship…_

"Would you like to…?"

I never got the chance to finish the question. As I turned around to look at him he was moving towards me and the next thing I know we are kissing each other with such a passion. _Oh God! I can't believe this… so it might not have been only me…_ He wraps his arms around my waist and brings me to his lap. I can feel the stirring wheel behind my back but I don't care. We kiss each other for I don't know how long… and suddenly I can feel his hands under my clothes and I want to do the same with him but there isn't enough space to move.

So we finally part… I look up to him and I say:

"Wanna come in?"

"I thought you were never going to ask."

I move back to my seat and I exit the door followed quickly by him. I'm looking for the keys and he is just bending against me kissing my neck.

"If you want to get in you might want to stop that." I say…

_I wasn't able to concentrate with all the warm kisses._ He is just smiling like crazy and I can't stop doing it myself.

Finally I find the keys and open the front door. Not even two minutes later we are in my living room kissing each other as if we hadn't parted at all. I drop my bag on the floor as he takes my coat and his off. I'm trying to undo his shirt and watch where we are going in the dark. His shirt is off and so is mine… and there goes my bra… His hands are caressing my hair and suddenly is loose. My hands have moved to his belt and I'm about to remove his pants but he is trying to remove his shoes. And I should do the same, and there they go. Two pairs of shoes go flying in the air to some part of my living room. His hands swift to my own pants and then I can feel them drop into the floor. His own pants do the same some seconds later and I don't think I remember getting undressed so quickly before.

Through the whole odyssey our lips almost never part each other and as I fall into my bed on top of him I come to senses. I can't stop kissing him but I need to know so finally I part my lips from his and ask:

"You really think we should be doing this?"

His arms wrap around my back and a second later I'm the one underneath and he says:

"I do."

_Oh God, Thank You! I never thought I would be so happy he said that!_ In celebration for our new agreement which meant "screw friendship" our lips find each other again, and again…

_In my quest not to be so late to the party I had left one of the lights turned on in my room, and I'm glad I did that way can look at him. I want to feel him, and make sure it is really Luka who I am in bed with. The last week was awful, having him so close at work and not being able to be with him was making me go crazy. But now he is in my bed and he is all mine, and I'm his._ He is making sure of that, he is taking possession of me, he is making me remember everything single time we've been together. I can sense his longing in the kisses, the need for closeness… _And then I remember the Christmas Party when he told me he missed me… I felt sorry for him then, I wanted to hold him… but Carter was in the next room. I didn't want to hurt him and I knew he never meant to hurt me. But this is our chance to make it right, to be together… _

* * *

We are laying next to each other some time later.

"So... was it nice?" He teasingly asks.

I have to laugh…

"I have to think about it…"

He is not he only one that can tease.

"You have to think about it, eh?"

Heis mockingme as he swift his body to face me and then he adds:

"Is there anything I can do to make up your mind?"

"Depends. Anything to offer?" I grin.

"Well, I can think of more than one thing."

He just bends down and brushes his lips against mine. I open my mouth to welcome his tongue in but it doesn't stay there long, apparently he has other plans.

"That's one… and then I could…"

He just gives me small kisses on my neck which makes me shiver in delight._ I can't believe I want him again! _

"Ok... ok, I think I can say it was more than nice. Now come here…"

And as those words come out I pull him closer to me. I move on top of him taking control and kiss him deep and hard on the lips. Our tongues dance together and as I sit slowly on top of him to tease him a little but… he say:

"Oh Abby…"

His hand brushes my hair off my face and I know he's been waiting for this for a long time. I bend to kiss him on the lips one more time. Our eyes meet and begin the quest to understand the emotions that are gathering inside of each of us.

"You know that I didn't lie…" he says.

"What?" I look at him confused. "I don't understand." I add.

"I was right, you are not that pretty, you are just beautiful." He says.

I have to smile at that and kiss him. I could feel some tears gather in my eyes. _I'm happy to be with him and I know he is too. We found each other again and I wasn't going to let anything ruin it this time._ We come together and then we fell asleep in each others arms.


	5. Breakfast Talk

_Disclaimer: _I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning: _This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

When I woke up the next morning I found him looking at me.

"Good morning" he says.

"Hi… what time is it?"

He looks at my alarm clock and says: "6 am"

"Good. I'm on at 8 and you?"

"Me too. Want some breakfast?"

"I would if there was anything to eat actually. I'm sorry, I was going to go shopping yesterday but with the wedding and all didn't make it."

"Ok, so how about we have breakfast at Ike's?"

"I like the idea." I smile and then our lips meet for the first time since I woke up.

I look up at him again and say:

"Wanna take a shower?"

He grins with the smile that makes me melt and nods excitedly.

We take the shower, which took longer than it should've, so we need to hurry if we actually want to get something to eat before work. Thanks God, his car is parked outside so not even 10 minutes later we are parking it in front of Ike's for some breakfast. After the orders have been issued, I look at him and say…

"So…"

"What?" he is looking at me trying to identify the question.

"About last night…" I say…

_I'm not sure how to put it. I want to make sure we are in the same page about what happened and I don't want more friendship talks in the future._

"Yeah…?"

"Well, I don't know… it was wonderful. I just want to know what's going to happen now. And please don't tell me you want to be just friends because you are so dead!"

He laughs at that and I can't help but join him.

"I don't want us to be just friends, I never wanted to. I agreed because that's what you said. I was just trying to find a way to tell you how I felt about it all."

_He was? Oh my God..._

"Oh… that's funny… I was trying to do the same thing!"

We look at each other.

"Thanks God we didn't stick to it then!" he says.

"Yeah!"

Our orders arrive and as we are having breakfast we see Neela and Michael come through the door. I wave at Neela who sits next to me.

"Hey! I wasn't expecting you here." She says.

"Well, my fridge was empty and I found Luka already here."

_Good Lord, I'm grateful my brain is still working after just a sip of coffee._ I look up at Luka searching for some sort of approval but he is just smiling at me. We talked about the wedding and as we are about to finish our breakfast my pager beeps. Two seconds later Luka's, closely followed by Neela's.

"So… duty calls…" I mumble as I'm trying to take a last sip of my coffee.

We all walk to the ER. Michael says goodbye to his wife and to us.

* * *

The following two weeks with Luka where just amazing. When we weren't at work we where at his place or mine just talking, watching movies, having fun. I wasn't sure how everything turned out to be so perfect all of a sudden. _I'm happy._ I found myself smiling while walking to the El or when I was examining a chart. And I wasn't the only one, I found Luka doing the same thing one night. We were on the night shift and he was doing some paperwork in the lounge. I walked in for some coffee to find him smiling at a chart. 

"What's so funny?"

"What?" I just startled him, he didn't even noticed I had come in.

"The chart… what so funny? Because I don't remember them being interesting at all."

"Actually it wasn't the chart I was thinking about."

"It wasn't?" I ask him wanting to know the answer.

I had walked over to the coffee machine and he was now standing next to me.

"No… it wasn't. I was thinking about the night when Neela and Gallant got married."

"You were? Any part in particular?" I say in my best flirting mode.

"Well, yeah… I was thinking in how we got from the car to your bed in less than five minutes."

I had to laugh but not for long. His hands where on my waist and the next thing I know our lips meet in a sweet and passionate kiss. I know that hadn't we been in the lounge things would've probably progressed to something that required less clothing but I needed to get back to work and he needed to finish his paperwork. And thanks God we parted because ten seconds later Morris was coming into the lounge asking about something.


	6. Two Days Till Christmas

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic. _

_Warning: This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything. _

**This Chapter is more explicit in the end so I would recommend to be more careful about it. Rating might be M, but just for the ending.**

_This is my first fic so..._

_Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!_

_

* * *

_

_Two days for Christmas_, I thought. And then it hit me… _Oh Crap! Two days for Christmas!_ I ran to my locker and look around my bag to find my agenda. I was looking at the calendar expectantly and then… _Oh My God! _I was about to cry in desperation. _Ok, calm down Abby. It's not the first time you are late and…_ I wasn't going to calm down until I had some sort of medical proof that my guts were wrong. So that evening I got home after going to the drugstore for some pregnancy tests. Luka was still working and I never felt so grateful about it. I didn't want to bother him, if it was actually nothing. I wanted to make sure. So I took the test. And I stared at the line for an hour. I thought that maybe if I stared hard enough the result would be different. But as much as I wanted, it wasn't going to change. I had takena second test as soon as I realized the first result. Thanks God I had taken the precautions and saved some samples for another test so I didn't have to wait another four hours or so. But even then the result was the same.

"I'm pregnant" I said it out loud.

_I can't believe this!_ I'm thinking... _when did this happen? We had used protection! _I wanted to scream it. But then I realized that we didn't use it once, and as we all know just once it what it's required for this to happen. _Oh Crap… what am I going to do now? How am I going to tell him?_ I stare at my reflection in the mirror waiting for it to answer but the answer wouldn't come. I made up my mind. I would get up early next morning and go to the lab first thing. I needed to be 100 percent sure and I needed a medical proof from a lab not a stick in the middle of my bathroom. I put the tests away and hide them so Luka can't see them and just in time because I just heard him ringing the bell.

"Hey..." I say while I open the door.

"Hi" He says and walks towards me to kiss me on the lips.

"Everything alright?" he asks.

_How can he tell! Can he actually tell?_

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't know, you... I just thought... never mind." He says while he sits on the couch. "I'm exhausted."

I sit down next to him and put my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around me.

"Hungry?" I ask.

"Actually... I am. How about some take out? Or did you go shopping?" He looks down at me.

"Nope, I didn't."

"I thought you said you where leaving to go shopping." He says.

"I did?" _I totally forgot! With the whole pregnancy test..._

I try to remember what I had told him. I was in the lounge putting my agenda away in my locker when he came in. We started kissing each other and his hands were all over me. I wanted him but I was also thinking that if I wanted to take the test he didn't have to be there. So I told him I was going shopping because there was nothing left in my fridge. I needed an excuse and that was perfect. And I remember adding that I would make it up to him when he got home. He wanted details and I did give him some. _Ok, so I was being naughty!_

"Oh right. That's what I forgot!"

"You forgot you have to eat?"

"Well, I had my mind in other things when I left the ER..." I told him teasingly.

_I did have my mind in other things partly because of the test and also because of what I told him before I left._

He is grinning and I'm grinning too. He moves his hands under my shirt and whispers into my ear.

"So... you are going to make it up to me now?"

I'm about to say yes when my stomach makes a noise which reminds me of food. He laughs.

"I think you need to feed me first" I say.

"I think you are right. Pizza? Chinese?" he asks.

"Chinese..."

He gets off the couch and walks to the phone. He makes the call and then comes back to me.

"You know we can entertain ourselves in the meantime..." he says.

His lips come to meet mine in a hungry kiss. I can't help it and kiss him passionately back. My arms fly instantly around his neck and his around my waist, I can feel his warm touch underneath my clothes. _Oh God..._

"I don't think you'll need this..." he says while he removes my shirt.

"You think so?" I ask him grinning.

"Or this..." he was slowly undoing my pants and then he throws them behind him.

"Hey, why am I the only one getting undressed?" I have to ask him. _This is unfair!_

"What? You want me naked? But then who will answer the door?"

_Ok, I think I might let him take me for now..._ I'm not sure whether he was taking a long time or the delivery guy flew to my apartment but the bell rang. _Oh man!_

"I told you I would need my clothes." He says and leaves me naked on the couch while he walks to the door for the order.

I duck on the couch so no one can see me, even though he makes sure not to open the door that much. I look at him as he walks to the kitchen to leave the bag.

"Do you want to eat now?" he asks.

"You have to be kidding me, right?"

I can hear him laugh.

"So your plan is to leave me naked on the couch?"

He was walking back into the living room and I could see in his eyes he had a different idea. _Good because if not I would kill him._

He bends down again as he is about to kiss me I move my lips to his ear and softly say:

"I think you can lose some clothing now."

I look at him mischievously. He is grinning now.

"And I like the way you are thinking..." he says while he pulls me closer to kiss me.

My hands are moving to undo his shirt, and then I push him down so I'm the one on top and in charge. His shirt flies to the other side of the couch.

"It's my turn to undress you... so... " I say.

"That means I'm not allowed to do anything?" he inquires.

"Oh so... you don't want me to fulfill my promise? Well, then..." I say while I begin to get off the couch and look for my clothes.

"Hey! Come here" he grabs me by the hand and pulls me back into the couch where he kisses me.

"That means you do?"

"You have no idea how much..." He says.

We are both grinning like crazy.

* * *

We are cuddling in the couch, he grabs the blanket that was on the side and places it on top of us.

"So… what you think? Did I make it up?" I ask.

He finally whispers in my ear:

"I think you did…" he says while he kisses my neck.

I look around at him and our lips find each other once again in a hungry kiss._ It seems we can't get enough of each other lately._ He finally parts our lips and gets out of the couch without saying a word. Runs into the bedroom and comes back a moment later grinning. _I know what he went for. If only he knew it won't make a difference. But I can't tell him know. It's not the moment._ So I take him in and enjoy the rest of the night in his arms.


	7. Christmas Gifts

_Disclaimer: _I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning: _This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

The next morning I woke up to find a note next to my pillow: 

_"I had to go for some things to my place. See you at work. And thanks for a wonderful evening,_

_Luka"_

I got up and by 7 am I was in the ER. As I wasn't going to wait for the results sitting on a chair and I remembered that I was supposed to get the Christmas cake, so I left. An hour later I had cake and results in my hand. And then Luka scared the hell out of me.

"Ahhhhhhhh… hi!" I scream.

"Hey…" he is grinning.

"Oh… hi" I turn around to look at him and put the results under the cake.

"Sorry I'm late I had to pick up the cake for the Christmas Party" I say.

"No problem… Come here."

He says while he grabs my arm gently and pulls me to a side. He has a bag and I realize he is now looking for something. He pulls out a small wooden box with a red bow on top.

"Oh wow… that's for me?"

He nods while he adds:

"Yeah, open it"

"Now?"

"Yeah…"

"I can't…" I say while moving the cake around to make a point.

"Oh, tomorrow morning then."

He says.

"Ok" I agree, turn around and then I realize something.

So I turn around again to look at him:

"Are we spending Christmas together?"

"It's what you said last night?"

_Last night?_ I'm thinking… _When did we talk last night about…?_

"No, I didn't!"

"Well, you probably don't remember other things you said last night"

He is grinning again and I have to say

"Shut up"

But either way I'm smiling like an idiot.

"I never said anything about us."

"We should" he says trying to convince me.

"We should?"

He nods. So I finally give up and say ok.

"I should change"

I turn around again to head to the lounge. But I have to turn once again to face him when he whispers:

"I'll help"

I can only grin while I keep on walking.

* * *

Later that day we are in the lock up room, he told me he wanted to meet me there for a _"department Chief business"_. I walked in the lock up as if I was looking for something. He walked behind me and says: 

"Hi there"

I turn around and _I swear there is something wrong with me because I'm smiling again._

"Hey…"

"So who's kitchen are we dirtying up tomorrow?"

"I don't know I haven't really giving it much thought"

_Which is true… the news I have would make anyone forget about everything else!_

"Guess what I got you?" he says.

_I'm trying to think of something but nothing comes to my mind._

"Give me a hint?"

"Ah, it's small"

_Nice hint! It can be anything! Ok, let's use your imagination Abby!_

"Small..." I repeat "A necklace!"

_That's a good one!_ And the he says:

"It's not jewelry"

_Oh… so it's not jewelry… I actually wanted a necklace._ We are suddenly interrupted by Ray who is telling Luka, his hyponutremia lady wants to leave AMA.

"She can't…" he says and he needs to get back to work.

Even though I know that, I make an attempt to tell him.

"Luka…"

"Yeah, what?" he is turning around to see if someone else is looking and _I just can't tell him, at least not now._

_I will, it's just… this isn't the right time._ So then I just say:

"You're gonna love what I got you."

"You didn't get me anything" he says.

_How can he be so sure? Ok, I didn't buy him anything but I do have something. _Anyway, I have to say:

"Yes, I did!"

"No, you didn't!"

"I did too!"

_How does he know?_

"Keep guessing…" he finally says.

"Not jewelry… spark plugs…"

He snorts out a "right" and then I say:

"A glass frog"

_A glass frog? Oh my God… how did I come up with that one?_

"How would you know?"

So… I'm

"Not even close?" Before heading out of the lock up room he says:

"Listen, page me when you have a clue, ok?" _Well, I'm sure you are not going to expect what I have to tell you! I keep thinking about whether or not I should've told him there and now._

* * *

We do talk a little bit more during work that day but I never get the chance or the courage to tell him. Now I'm heading to Ike's and I just made a resolution. _I'm not going to go to bed without telling him! Let's just hope I can make it._ I walk into Ike's as Haleh is singing with Morris! _Oh My God! Morris can sing? Who would've thought!_ I keep moving to the bar where I have just spotted Luka. I leave a small red bag on top of the counter while I sit down. He smiles at the bag and says: 

"What's this?"

"It's part of your present" I say. "Open it"

He grabs the bag and pull out the snow globe. _I thought it was a way of reminding him of that Christmas night at Susan's._

"Wow, thank you!"

"You're welcome" I say.

"This… this beats what I got you"

He takes his present from behind him and hands me the wooden box.

"Open yours"

I open the box and I find a golden device inside. I take it out of the box and open it.

"A compass?"

I look at him trying to understand the gift.

"I know it's corny but… seems we always find each other"

_Oh, he didn't just say that. I want to kiss him! But we are in front of all the ER staff and I have to stick to my resolution!_ So I say:

"It's beautiful" and I smile.

I finally sigh and put the compass away. I turn around to look at him to the eyes and I say:

"Can we talk?"

_I know he wasn't expecting that, but how am I supposed to tell him?_

"Yeah, sure… You ok?"

"Yeah… Maybe go outside for a minute?"

He nods. _I'm about to freak out though I know he probably doesn't understand anything right now._ I get my things and head outside closely followed by him.

I open the door and turn around to watch him put his coat on. And then I start:

"Ok, I don't know how to say this..."

"What?" he asks.

"Well, just that these past two weeks I've been really… I… You know I couldn't have imagined it better."

_Nice way of putting it! I'm congratulating myself inside my head but then I realize this is far from over._

"For me too" he says.

_Well, that's also good to know._

"Yeah, and I hadn't laugh so much or felt so good in a really, really long time… and I don't want to do anything to ruin that."

He is becoming nervous because he says:

"Hey, you won't… I promise…" he says. He grabs my arm gently and makes me stop walking to face him.

"Luka…"

"Yeah?" I turn my face away and say

"Oh man…"

_This was even harder than I thought._

"What?" he plights for an answer now.

And finally I get some courage out of somewhere and say it.

"I'm pregnant" I left the words hanging in the air.

There was no response, just a puzzled look from his side. I'm sure this was the last thing he expected me to say but I had to let him know. He deserves it. He suddenly moves closer to me and hugs me. I wrap my arms around him and I let him hold me. I look up to him after a while. His eyes are understanding but I know he is probably scared. _The hell I'm scared! I'm terrified! What's it going to happen now? I mean, I know how Luka feels about this things._ _The issue is I'm not sure how I feel about it._ He bends down and kisses me softly on the lips.

"Dr. Kovac, Dr. Lockhart!"


	8. Not Alone

_Disclaimer: _I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning: _This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

I felt as I was caught in the middle of something I wasn't supposed to be doing. I just looked around to find Kerry Weaver with Henry holding her hand. Luka has this weird look on his face. _If someone was going to walk out on us the last person I would've expected was Kerry. I mean she is the Chief of Staff and we are now busted. I realize no one has said anything from the moment our names come out of her mouth and we need to say something. It's obvious that that wasn't a simple Christmas kiss but something else so there is no point hiding the inevitable._

"Kerry, about what you just saw..."

I begin saying but I'm cut off by her

"I know it's none of my business who you two date, what you do outside of work and with your lives so I expect each of you to keep up with your work as you have been doing so far. If by any chance I find there is any problems whatsoever I will be taking care of this. But I'm pretty sure I won't need to as you are both going to be really professional. Merry Christmas to both of you!"

As those last words come out of her mouth she turns around and heads into Ike's followed by Henry who is only smiling at us.

"Oh my God!"

That's all I get out before I look at Luka. He is smiling, actually laughing.

"I think we can say we got out of that one easy."

"You think so? I thought she was going to fire us on the spot or something!"

"She wouldn't. Though technically I'm Chief of the ER and you are an R2, we've dated before this and we have history together so there isn't much she can do about it."

"Well, if you put it that way... I think I have to agree."

After about a minute of silence he finally says:

"So, would you like to go home?"

"Yeah, actually I would."

"Good, give me a minute, I'll be right back. I left some things inside."

I nod. Five minutes later we are heading back to his car. He opens the door and let's me in.

"Thanks"

"You're welcome" he says.

He is driving though I just realized I'm not sure where. _He just said home... His home or my home?_

"Where are we going?"

"I thought you might be more comfortable if we talked at your place. Is that alright?"

"Yeah, that's ok."

He looks back at the road and we stay in silence. _It's not an odd silence actually. I had all day to process part of the initial shock, but he just found out so I just leave him with his thought to process it and make it sink in a little bit further._ As he parks the car in front of my apartment and we get inside I can feel his hand on my waist.

"Want some tea?" He asks.

"Yeah that would be good, though you know this is my house. I should be the one asking you that."

"I know but I just want to do it."

"Ok, so I'm going to put something more comfortable on."

I say while I walk to my bedroom.

When I finally come out he is sitting on the couch and hands me a hot cup of tea.

"There you go."

"Thanks."

I can feel the warmth of the cup tingle through my cold fingers and as I take a small sip of the liquidit starts soothing me. _I don't know why but I can relax now that I'm home._ He looks at me and says

"So, how are you feeling?"

"_Me?_ I'm not sure. I think I'm still processing the information."

"No kidding! When did you find out?"

"This morning. When you walked behind me and scared the hell out of me I was reading the results."

"Oh, so that explains it!"

After a couple of seconds I ask

"And... how are _you_ feeling about this?"

"Well, it was a shock. That was the last thing I was expecting you to say!"

"I can imagine. You thought I was going to break up with you or something like that, right?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"Your face... I knew that there was no way to put it without it sounding something like that but I had to tell you. There was no way I could've kept this from you Luka."

"Thanks for telling me. I'm glad you did. You know you are not alone. And though we didn't plan this I want you to understand I'm here."

Tears are now gathering in my eyes and _I'm about to cry but I'm not sure if this is the moment to do it._ He moves his hand to mine.

"Hey, don't worry... ok...?"

"I can't help it. There is something I have to tell you Luka."


	9. The Secret Is Out

_Disclaimer: _I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning: _This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

_I can sense he is uncomfortable the moment those words came out of my mouth but I have to be honest with him. If I want this to work there is no holding back and he needs to know._

"When I was with Richard... I... I got pregnant. I was scared and I didn't want the baby to grow up in that environment and I didn't want the baby to be bipolar either. I just freaked out and then I had an abortion. Richard never knew. I know you are against abortion but I have to tell you."

I look at him expecting some sort of disgust or something but heholds my hand tighter in his.

"Come here…" he says as he pulls me on his lap.

I lay my head on his shoulder for about a minute before I look back at him when he begins to talk.

"Look Abby, I know that what you just told me wasn't easy for you so I have to thank you. First, for telling me about the abortion and second, about this baby. I'm not the one to judge you for a decision you made when we didn't even know each other and I'm not the one to tell you if it was the right choice to make or not. It was your life, it's still your life and it's still your body. But I want you to know that I believe that we are here for a reason. There is something that brought us to this moment, and I'mglad that I have you right now."

_If I didn't want to cry hemade it impossible._ The tears are rolling down my cheek and I'm unable to hold them back, and a part of me doesn't even want to.

"Thanks for being so understanding" I mumble.

He bends down and kisses me softly on the lips.

"What do you say if we go to bed? You must be really tired and I think we could use some time to think over this. You found out this morning and I know it's not enough time, we don't have to make any decisions now."

"I like the idea."

So I get up and offer him my hand. We walk to my bedroom and he goes into the bathroom while I get inside the bed.

A moment later I can feel his arms wrap around my waist and I have to turn to face him. He kisses me gently on the lips and I move my hands to his back. His wearing a t-shirt, he forgot it the other day and I had left it in the bathroom. _It smells good, just like him._ Our kisses finally deepen and I have an urge to feel his skin against mine. He sits on the bed and removes his clothes while I remove my own. He is looking at me with longing eyes, and as his hands moves to my shoulder I can sense that this isn't going to be just sex but something more. _We are discovering, understanding, learning about each other..._

He's kissing me everywhere, and as I kiss his neck his hands are wrapped around my back. He is laying on top of me, and he moves to my belly and kisses it softly, he looks at me and I have to smile. _I know what he is thinking of, we are both probably thinking of the same. There is a life inside me and we created it. And that's what terrifies me the most._ He comes up to my eye level and kisses me passionately on the lips. I welcome his tongue inside me and I shift my hands to his back. _His skin is so soft and warm._ He moves to my ear and softly whispers:

"Thank you for everything..."

And I just look in his eyes and know he really means it.

"You're welcome any time" I say and he smiles.

* * *

_I don't think I've ever understood the meaning of making love to some one till now._ As we are laying next to each other arms wrapped I can feel his heart beating in my ear and I'm at peace. He kisses the top of my head and I begin to doze a little bit. _I don't think there are any words that can actually describe what we just experienced and I'm not even sure how to tell him what I'm feeling._

"Luka..." I finally manage to say.

"Yeah...?"

"Thank you. I'm also thankful about everything, I just wanted to let you know."

Our eyes meet and he bends to kiss my lips and after he says:

"I know."

He is smiling and I'm smiling._ I actually thought this was going to be an odd night after I had told him the news but it's far from it. I think I've never felt connected to anyone before this. And at the same time is weird because I know everything is going to change since tomorrow. I remove that thought from my head trying to seize the moment and remember I should live the present._

"Abby..." He is calling my name.

I open my eyes and look at him again. _I didn't even realize I had closed them._

"Yes...?"

"Would you like to spend New Year's eve together?"

"That would be great…" I say while I nod.

I have to smile again.

"Good. We should celebrate we are together and I'm not letting you go anytime soon."

He says while his arms hold me closer to him. And then I eventually fall into a dreamless sleep.


	10. Santa's Unexpected Gift

_Disclaimer: _I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning: _This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

The next morning I wake up to the smell of waffles. I get up and look for a robe inside the bathroom and walk out of my room to find Luka serving them into a plate. 

"Hey..." I say.

"Hi... Merry Christmas... I was going to serve you breakfast in bed."

"We can arrange than in a minute..." I say teasing him.

He moves towards me and kisses me. My arms instantly find their way around his neck to pull him closer.

"Merry Christmas" I say softly once we part.

We are about to sit at the table when I begin to feel dizzy and sick at my stomach. And I remember _I'm still pregnant._ _Why is it that I was feeling alright when I didn't even know I was pregnant and now I'm feeling sick? Is it because I know?_ My thoughts are interrupted when he says:

"Want some syrup with your waffles?"

"I think I'm gonna pass. I'm not feeling well... Oh crap..."

Iran to the bathroom because I'm about to get really sick. Not even a minute later Luka is next to me holding my hair.

"Want some water?" I nod.

He gets up and goes into the kitchen. He walks back into the bathroom and hands me the water. We sit next to each other on the floor and I look at him.

"Nice way to spend Christmas, eh?" He laughs.

"Yeah, lovely" I say and smile at him.

After a minute or two he says:

"Better?"

"Yeah, I think I'm alright now. But I also lost my appetite."

"Well, you'll probably get it back soon."

And he was right, half an hour later I'm eating as if nothing had happened. After breakfast I go to my bedroom to get dressed while Luka does the dishes. I remember I left some tests inside the bathroom and decide to give it another shot. As I'm staring at the last test I hear Luka calling for me.

"Where are you? It's time to open the presents..."

He opens the bathroom door and then _I have to say something…_

"Just making sure…" I say and then drop the last of the tests inside my sink.

He walks towards me and when he sees all the test inside it says:

"I think you can stop now…"

_Ok, so I took 6 more tests but… Oh God… I'm pregnant! I still can't believe this!_

"We could find the way to make it work… if that's what you want."

_What I want? That's the problem actually…_

"I don't know what I want…" I turn around to face him. "I'm 37 years old, if not now when..."

As I say that I close my eyes and try to avoid eye contact.

"You know how I feel about it…" I have to look at him now. "Everything happens for a reason" he adds.

"It scares me, Luka."

_I don't think I ever told him I was scared before. I'm not sure what to do…_ He sighs and places his hand on my shoulder.

"Having it or choosing not to?"

_That's the point, isn't it? Oh man! I can't believe this… I don't know. Both!_

"Yeah…"

_There are moments when I think a baby with Luka would be great but then I just can't help and freak out as well. It's a person's life we are talking about here. Actually three lives; the baby's, Luka's and mine._ I don't know for how long I've remained silent but finally I say:

"You want to keep it, don't you?"

He looks at me, after about a minute he takes my hand in his.

"Come here…" he whispers.

We walk out of the bathroom into my bedroom and we sit on the bed.

"I do want us to keep it but I also want you to be happy." I can't help but smile though I turn my gaze to the floor. "Abby, look at me" Luka's hand takes my chin and makes me face him. "It's up to you. Either way I want you to understand I'm here for you. You are not alone."

_I know he's here but still there is so much more than us we are talking about. We are just starting a relationship. We've known each other for a while that's true. We've even dated before and that's also part of the problem. Will we break up again just like we did last time? And then I'm not sure where we stand. How am I supposed to choose something when I don't know what I want! Do I see myself with Luka? I can't have a baby if this isn't going to work. I don't know if I can be a mother by myself. And even if we stay together, Can I be a mother! For God's sake…!_ My head is about to explode with all my insecurities when I feel Luka's arms wrap around me and Ilet him hold me. His heart is beating against my ear soothing me.

"Thank you Luka" I finally manage to say something after a while.

He looks down and his lips meet my own.

"You're welcome." He whispers into my ear.

We stay like that holding each other until I say:

"What presents were you talking about before? You already gave me my present."

"Well, there is one under the tree." He's smiling now.

"Really? But you didn't have it with you last night."

I start thinking, _he only had his coat and the snow globe I gave him when we came into my apartment._

"Santa was here, didn't you know?"

"Santa?" I have to smile at that. _Santa! It's still Christmas after all. Hard to believe the world keeps going when you have a life changing decision to make._

I get up from the bed and walk to my living room. Indeed there is a small green box under the tree. I bend down and grab it.

"Open it." He says.

He had followed me from the room apparently and I didn't even notice. I look around at him looking for an answer. _What can it be? _The box is smaller than the one with the compass._ Why am I nervous?_ I sit down on the couch and Luka walks towards me. He finally decides to sit next to me. And I open it… I stare at the box ad then look at him… _What does this mean?_

"Luka…?"


	11. No Pressure

_Disclaimer: _I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning: _This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

_I'm not sure if I let it out as a question or what but I remember the last time we dated and it didn't turn out that well when he…_

"It's just a key. You don't have to live with me but I thought you can stop by when ever you want to."

I can't stop staring at it.

"Just a key…" I mumble.

"Yeah… I'm not going to pressure you into anything…"

"Ok… Well… thanks… I guess." I'm smiling at him now. "I do have one more question…"

_Something's been bugging me in the back of my head since I saw it and I need to know…_

"Yeah?"

"When did you decide this? Because if this is…"

He cuts me off, _he knows where I'm going and doesn't want me to go there._

"I know we are going faster than you want. Than anyone wants to, but I can't help feel this is how it's supposed to be. And now I'm talking about the key, which I wrapped yesterday before you said anything… So… What I'm trying to say is that I want us to be together, giving you the key to my apartment, is me telling you that. Don't think more to it because you'll worry about something you don't have to. Ok?"

As I let him talk, _I can't help but wonder how can he understand my worries so much. It's actually scary and at the same time sweet._

"Ok" I nod. _Let's change the subject._ "So… what do you want to do today?"

"Well, I was thinking we could just stay in here and enjoy the couch."

"The couch?" I look at him because I know he is just teasing me.

"Yeah, unless you want to do something else."

"No, the couch is fine. Do I have to move or I just need to lay here?" I'm smiling again.

"That depends on how involved you want to be…"

As those words come out of his mouth, his arms are moving around me and we finally kiss.

* * *

Later that day I'm laying next to Luka in the bed. We are talking about the baby and about the whole situation. 

"What are you thinking?" he asks.

"How it would be if we decide to keep it..." I sigh

"What is it that you are scared about?"

"Everything! I don't know... There are all little things but if I put them all together it just freaks me out..."

"It's normal to be scared, believe me... But it's also good to take chances once in a while, we wouldn't be here if we hadn't... Choosing and taking risks it what makes you grow as a person. You need to give yourself the possibility, if you don't you will miss great things."

I have to look at him now. _Grow as a person?_

"I know that... I do. It's funny my mum told me something similar not that long ago..."

"She did? Well, you might want to listen to her when she says something like that."

"Ha, very funny..." I'm smiling now... but then I remain silent for a minute. Finally I add...

"What if I don't know how to love it right?"

"Abby!"

"Maybe I'm not strong enough"

_I'm just not sure about the whole thing... Can I take care of a child?_

"Being a parent makes you stronger."

"And it breaks your heart you told me that."

_I shouldn't have said that..._

"That's not what I meant."

_Oh my..._

"I'm sorry I didn't mean..."

"No... No, don't use that as a reason" he sighs.

"I'm sorry."

I caress his arm with my hand, his soft skin makes me feel better. Heshakes his head as to say that I don't have to.

"What if I go shopping and leave it in the supermarket?"

"Don't worry I'll do all the shopping." he says smiling.

I sigh... _I just don't know..._

"I'm afraid I'll mess it up Luka."

He moves his arm to my waist and says: "We won't."

_We won't? I know we are together in this, but it's just difficult to see myself and Luka with a baby at the moment. But then at the same time, I feel that it's the right thing... I think I might go crazy about now... I just can't make up my mind... everything seems so complicated._

I take my hand in his... _I have to say something._

"I'm not sure yet, I think I need to think about it more. Everything is so complicated right now inside my head. I just..."

"Hey, relax ok...? You don't need to decide right now. I'm not going to push you into making the choice tonight or anything like that. I understand you need time..."

"Thank you, Luka. I know what this means to you but I'm just glad you are here..."

He shift his body to hold me close to him and we cuddle together. Eventually I drift and fall asleep.


	12. Happy New Year

_Disclaimer: _I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning: _This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale(Bel Vezer)for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

_It's been a week already since I told Luka about the pregnancy. I still haven't make up my mind and I still can't stop thinking about what can go wrong. We are spending New Year together. I justfinished my shift and I'm heading to his place. I open the door with the key he gave me. It's so weird to have free access toit again. The last time I had a key I was staying because Brian beat me up, fortunately this is due to a more grateful situation._

"Hey... How was your shift?" Luka's sitting on the couch watching TV, he turned around to look at me coming through the door.

"Alright I guess. Morris was driving me crazy all day. He's been arguing with Albright since day one and I don't think they are going to come to peace soon."

I walk to the couch and sit next to him.

"Yeah I know what you mean, they've been driving me crazy too... And the rest?"

_The rest... which rest is he talking about? No, I haven't made up my mind yet. Is that what he wants to talk about?_

"Not much happened. Some MVA's and a couple of GSW's. Nothing serious we couldn't handle."

"Ok..." He is looking at me trying to know from my face if I made up my mind. _I think he thought better of it and decided to change the subject._ "You want to watch TV? Eat now? Or what?"

"What are we watching actually?" I look at the TV...

"I don't know... I think is one of those Christmas flicks they pass every year."

"Isn't it Miracle on 34th St?" I ask.

"I think so... not sure... Hungry?"

"Actually I am. Didn't have much time today to eat."

"Good, because I cooked something."

_Luka cooked? He had the day off, and decided to cook? That's so sweet... But I can't help it..._

"Oh so that's what's smelling funny!" I'm smiling. _I love teasing him about his cooking._

"Smelling funny? Oh come on... Croatian food isn't that bad!"

I have to look at him now...

"I'll tell you once I try it. But just in case, is there any back up food?"

"Back up food? I'll make you something else if you don't like it but first you need to try it. Besides it's just Chicken with some spices..."

"Ok, let's just hope I have my stomach in one piece by the time the year is over."

"Very funny..." He says. His arm wrap around my waist and holds me close into his embrace.

I'm laughing at him. "You know you can remove your coat..." he says.

"I know... I'm just to tired to move..."

"I'll help." he's smiling at me now. He removes my coat and then I can feel his hands on my back.

"I thought you said my coat!"

"Well, I missed you today..." Finally his lips meet mine in a sweet kiss.

"I missed you too." I say once we part. _I can't believe how much things have changed in a month!_

My stomach makes some noises as he moves to kiss me again. He stares at me and laughs.

"I told you! I didn't eat anything! And though I'm not really fond of Croatian food, I'm still hungry"

"Ok, let's have something to eat then."

He offers me his hand to get up from the couch and then we head to the table. And then I realize it's all setup and there are some candles on top of it. I look at him...

"Don't bring Martha Stewart to the conversation now... I can use my imagination once in a while..." he says.

"You can? Well, I'm glad..." I have to smile at him. _It looks great. The table, dinner, everything. I can't believe he did all this for me. What did I do to deserve him again? I can't lose him now, not again. And that also scares the hell out of me. Once I make up my mind what will happen afterwards? Having a baby is bringing someone else to this relationship and not having it's going to put a strain into it as well. I just can't think of this right now..._ We have a peaceful dinner and talk about the ER what's been going on lately. He's staring at me again.

"What?"

"So...?"

"So what?" _I'm confused now... _

"How was the food?"

"Oh... that... It was... different." I'm holding a smile right now. I want to laugh at his face, he looks disappointed. "It was good. I liked it!"

"Where you just doing that on purpose?" He gets up from his chair walks towards me.

"Yeah... so? Your face was worth it!" I'm laughing now.

He bends down to kiss me but just an inch away he says

"You are going to pay now... No dessert for you!" and walks to the kitchen with his plate and mine.

"Hey! It's not fair! I was just kidding! Come on, I'm actually craving for something sweet... Please?"

I followed him into the kitchen and wrapped my arms around his waist. He leaves the plates inside the sink and looks around to face me. I begin removing his shirt slowly from his pants... my hands move underneath and start caressing his back...

"The pout won't work on me..."

"It won't? Ok, so if I can't have dessert you won't have it neither!" I say while I walk away.

As I show my back at him, not even 5 seconds later Luka's arms are around my own waist. He makes me turn around to face him and says...

"Ok, you can have dessert... only if you dance with me?"

"Dance? Me? Are you kidding?" I'm staring at him... _I'm a terrible dancer! Why dance?_

"So...? What do you say?"

"What's for dessert?" I ask.

He laughs at my question.

"I have some ice cream and there is also some chocolate cake."

"Chocolate cake? That's sound good..." I consider it for a minute and finally say... "Ok... I'll dance... for how long?"

"Just for a while. I won't have you dancing all night, don't worry!" He takes my hand in his and we walk to the living room.

We are slow dancing now. He takes me into his embrace and I can't help but feel safe. _This isn't that bad._ I think my head can't stay away from thinking for long so I begin thinking about the baby again. Finally I say:

"Luka...?"

"Yeah..."

I can feel his heart against my ear and it's soothing me. Anyway _I'm still worried about the decision ahead of me..._

"I haven't made up my mind yet but I keep thinking about what made me choose not to have it the first time I got pregnant."

"Our relationship is different from the one you had with Richard; and you are a different person that you were back then."

"I know that... It's funny, actually... I always thought that people don't change but over the past few years so many things have happened that I have to say I did change somehow."

"You did. And I did to. Somehow that brought us back together... to this moment."

There is a small silence, but I don't feel any discomfort whatsoever... Finally I say:

"The first time I panicked, the baby would be bipolar. And I'm not so sure I changed that much."

"Ah... The chances are slim you know that... Crossing the street there is a risk... If you let it get to you, you never have children... Nobody would..."

_He is right about that. I know he is. And that keeps reminding me of the conversation I had with Maggie when I told her about the abortion._

"Well, maybe some people aren't supposed to"

_Maybe I'm not supposed to have kids. Maybe I'm not supposed to be a mother after all._

"Well, I don't think you are one of them."

I sigh. _He doesn't think so...? Who is Luka talking about? Me? I don't understand how he can believe in me so much when I have trouble believing in myself. He was the one that gave me the confidence to go back to med school. There was a moment in time when I thought being a nurse was what I was supposed to be, but then Luka made me evaluate it, and he was right. He supported me even when we weren't together and that meant a lot to me. I never told him that... but still... he doesn't know..._

"Yeah, well you don't know what it was like... with Maggie and Eric..."

"Are you are looking for reasons again?"

_It seems like it. It's not that I want to look for reasons not to have it but at the same time I can't help and picture in my head what it was like to be a kid myself._ _And then..._

"What are you looking for? Someone to have a baby with?"

_I didn't just say that... Oh my... I did... I can see I hurt him... I..._

"Is that what you think? Because if it is then... what the hell are we doing here?" He asks.

I sigh... _Dancing? I don't know... There are so many questions I have, specially about this relationship... It sounded awful what I just said. Oh my... What should I tell him now? Of course that's not what I think! I can't tell him that neither... This sucks... _I look up to see his eyes and say...

"Happy New Year"

_That suits better. Just something simple. _A small smile crawls from the side of his mouth, he bends down. His forehead is now resting slighty on mine and moments later our lips finally meet in a kiss. He brings me closer to him, I can feel his arms tighten around me._ It feels wonderful... as nothing can go wrong right now. _When the kiss ends I look again at his eyes and say:

"Thank you, Luka. For tonight... dinner and all. I'm glad we decided to spend it together." I'm smiling now.

"Me too... Me too..." he whispers.


	13. My Choice

_Disclaimer: _I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning: _This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale (Bel Vezer)for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

_It's been a week already since the year begun and still I haven't made up my mind on what the next step should be. Luka's been supportive all the way but I can tell he's becoming uneasy about it. I'm walking into the living room to find Luka removing the ornaments off the Christmas Tree._

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

He turns around to look at me and says in a soft voice:

"Well, Christmas was two weeks ago, I figure it's time to put it away."

_Removing the Christmas Tree makes me realize how much time has passed since I actually told him. If we keep the tree a little longer I can still think Christmas was yesterday or something._

"Leave it, I like it" I walk towards the tree and sit on the border of the couch.

"You want to be one of those people dragging some dead brown tree out into the street in the middle of April?" He says while he removes a round flat ornament and looks at it.

"I like those people... They don't give up easy"

_Yeah, why do we have to be like most people? Can I just... If only time couldstop for a while. Wouldn't that give me time to catch up? _I move my hand to get the ornament and he hands it to me. I look at it. It has my name on it: _Abigail_, a Christmas Tree on one side and a picture of myself in the other.

"I made this for Maggie when I was... I think, six...We were living in a motel in Minnetonka."

He smiles at me. And then the kettle starts whistling reminding me of it.

"Don't you have a Search Committee Meeting this morning?" I say, and start heading to the kitchen.

"I could skip it. We can talk some more…"

_More? What else is there to be said? He wants to keep it and I'm not sure yet. There isn't much more to say. I just need to decide what I want. If only that was so easy..._ I turn around to see him and add:

"No, you should go. I have to be in soon so..." I finally reach the kitchen and remove the kettle from the fire and look for some tea in a cupboard. I open the box and I can hear him standing in the doorway.

"Guess we haven't figure anything out yet."

_Not again, please. Right now I have enough with my own thoughts..._

"Yeah, I really… don't want to get into it again…"

"You made a decision?"

_A decision? I would've told him if I did, but then I know I'll probably be scared to let him now what I've decided as well. What if we break up? What will happen then? I keep thinking about that, can't stop thinking actually._ I turn around to look at him. _And now I'm also upset about the question, even a little angry._

"Well, we don't even know what we are to each other."

"No one ever knows that…"

"Oh come on…"

"We've been friends for a long time… good friends"

"Yeah"

_So? What's that supposed to mean? That good friends are supposed to have children?_

"We've been through a lot together." he adds.

_That actually will make us good parents? Luka will probably be a good father but still..._

"That doesn't mean we can take care of a child" I say.

"It has to be your choice… I know that…"

_My Choice? Can I scream now?_ I'm staring at him now... and finally I let the air that has been gathering in my chest out in a sigh.

"I just don't know Luka..." I murmur. "I... there are still so many things to take into account."

He walks towards me and takes me in his arms. I lay my head in his chest and let him hold me.

"I know... it's not an easy decision, nobody said it was."

I have to look up to him now. _Easy? That would be something..._

"I know. If this isn't the hardest decision I had to make in my whole life, it probably comes close to it."

He gently bends down a little and places a kiss on my forehead.

"I know..." he whispers. "Believe me I know..."

I let him hold me for a while until I say: "You should get going or you'll be late."

"Yeah, I'll see you at work." he kisses me softly on the lips and I can see him pick his jacket and head out. After he closes the door I sigh again.

_Oh God..._

* * *

_I get to work and I'm finding it really hard to concentrate. I keep dozing off, thinking... I can't stop picturing all the conversations I had with Luka about the baby._ While in a consult I see Coburn in the next trauma room examining a patient. _I should talk to her._ Once she is done with the patient I walk to her and say: 

"How's it going?"

"Oh... well... good. She is young and the ovary looks good so..."

_What?_

"Oh no... I meant..."

"Oh how's it going... Oh... fine... you?"

"Good." I answer automatically.

_If I think to much about that question I might go crazy._

"I just got paged for an ultrasound do you know anything about that?" She says while looking at her pager.

"No. No, but I remember hearing that you started your own practice..."

"Yeah... that's going very well. You know... The only problem is the boss. Uh, what a bitch..."

I'm staring at her not getting what she is trying to tell me...

"I'm the boss, Abby"

_Oh..._

"Right."

"Now you are patronizing me"

_Oh God..._

"No, I... I just..." I start walking to the side of the hall showing her the way and she follows me. _I'm not sure how to say it..._ "I just might want to come and see you... I need an OB"

I can see her expression change to joy and she replies excitedly:

"Congratulations! Wow, I had no idea..." She noticed that my face isn't one of happiness and adds: "I'll shut up..."

"Yeah, it wasn't something I expected." And now I can feel the tears gathering in my eyes, fighting to come out.

"Is it something you want?" she says.

"I'm not sure. I'm at the right place in my life for this so..."

_It is... I don't think there can be a better moment to choose to have a baby, considering it's unexpected. If I had to choose to have one I would probably wait to make sure my relationship with Luka's is a keeper. But then..._

"So you don't want to keep it?"

_I don't know!_ I can help but cry now. "I'm sorry"

"Ok, I'm always prepared." She looks in her pocket and hands me a package of tissues.

"Thanks"

"I got office ours every afternoon, just come by anytime. I can help you whether is pre-natal care or termination. What ever you decide."

I nod, get the card she hands me and say "Thank you..."

"And what ever you do Abby, it's gonna be the right thing"

_That's good to know but still..._

"Thanks" She nods and I do the same. She finally leaves me with my thoughts. _Oh God... What am I going to do?_


	14. Together

_Disclaimer: _I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning: _This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

I have called Coburn's office to setup an appointment. Luckily, since she understands the importance of it, I got one for today so I go to the lounge after my shift is over to get my things. As I walk out to the admin desk I see Luka. _Ok, so I can't just disappear. I have to tell him..._

"Oh, you off already?"

"Yeah… I've got a doctor's appointment."

"Oh…" I can tell I caught him off guard.

"I'm going to see Coburn" I continue, trying not to speak too loudly. He looks at me, and his eyes are full of concern.

"Coburn?"

"At her practice" I explain.

_I need to start moving before he offers to come along. _I start walking out of the ER and he follows me closely behind...

"Ah… I'll… get Clemente to cover me" he's looking back at the admin desk trying to find him but I cut him off:

"It's ok… You're working…"

_Stay working please! _

"No, I should come with you."

"It'll probably be easier if you didn't…"

_I don't want to hurt his feelings. I just need to do this on my own. __It will be... It's already difficult for me to go when I'm not yet sure what I'm going to do... _We reach the ambulance bay and I want to get out of here before I change my mind.

"Hey… Hey…" he grabs my arm gently and makes me face him.

_I don't have to courage to look him in the eyes. I'm afraid of what I'll see. Pain. Anger. Disappointment?_

"When I say I want us to keep it you don't like the way it sounds…"

_It's not that I don't like the way it sounds it's that I'm scared of what it will mean. _

"But anything else is a lie…" he adds.

_I know… I want to scream that I know but… _

"Luka…" Chuny is at the door calling him, he looks at her. "Neela is waiting for you to sign on the Ramsey girl."

"Get Clemente to do it." He tells her.

"He's MIA." Chuny walks inside the ER and then he looks back at me.

_I can see the pain in his eyes and it's breaking my heart. But I can't tell him yet, I'm not sure what I'm going to do… I don't want to hurt him. _

"I don't know what else to say."

"Don't say anything." I mutter. _I have a knot in the pit of my stomach and I'm feeling sick. _I can feel his gaze penetrating me. _I really want to hug him, let him hold me tight into his arms but I need to go. I can't stay… I just can't… _I turn around and start walking away. _I have to remind my legs to keep moving and don't look back. _

_

* * *

__So here I am at Coburn's office waiting for her. _There are children playing around me; pregnant women alone or with their partners... _Great! This is great, especially when I have to make a decision. I'm watching a woman rock her baby to soothe him and I can't help but picture myself in her shoes. Could I do that? Can I look after a child? Once I become a mother there is no turning back. I'll always be his or her mother till the day I die._ And then I also think_... If I decide to end this... what do I tell Luka? How do I tell him I don't want to? Can I do this to him? He lost his kids, two to the war and one that he isn't even aware of. I can't do that to him... I just can't hurt him... but then, I'm not going to have a baby because I don't want to hurt Luka. I have to make this decision because it's what I want._

"Abigail Lockhart?" the nurse behind me is calling my name.

_Ok, God... _I turn around to face her. Eventually I get up and she ushers me into Coburn's office.

* * *

An hour later I feel the cold wind against my face, making me feel alive. _I made the right choice, I just need to tell Luka now. But first I need to walk, I can't face him now. _I start walking without knowing my destination. I'm surrounded by people walking around minding their own business, _they probably have their own choices to make_. 

I reach the lake and find an empty bench to sit down. _The lake looks so peaceful. Serene. The antithesis of what's happening inside me right now. It's cold right now but I don't care. I like it. The slight discomfort. The pain of the wind on my face. Without it, this could all be a dream. There are so many things that are going to change now. My life is never going to be the same. I've never been good with change. Always resented it. And now… here I am. Luka's life isn't going to be the same. I can't believe that one of my choices can affect us in such a way. A life... a human being, another person... I just decided that... _

"I went by your place but I figure you might come home this way…"

He startled me. I turn around to find Luka standing close to the bench. _He found me? How on Earth did he find me? Of all the places in Chicago how did he know I would come home this way? I could've taken the El for God's sake! What do I tell him now? I'm speechless, _I move my face around to look at the lake once more. _How do I tell him? _

"I don't want everything we have to come down to this one decision... We can get past it… You did what you had to do… Doesn't mean we can't be together…" he says softly.

_Oh my God, he thinks I did it. He actually thinks I did it ... and he doesn't hate me. Ok, I have to tell him. I can't let him think I went through with it._

"I didn't do it… I couldn't…" I look in his eyes trying to gauge his reaction. The wind is playing with my hair and brings it to my face. I move my head around.

"I wanna keep it..." I continue.

_Wow... I just said it out loud. And I want to keep it. I really do. I want a baby. This baby.. We are having a baby... _He finally sighs. He must've been holding his breath there…

"I want us to have this baby." I add more confident this time.

_His face hasn't changed much, maybe a little more relaxed. He looks relieved though..._ _Everything is going to change now... What is he thinking? _He walks to the bench and sits down next to me. He takes my hand into his, holding it tight. I'm looking at the lake, letting him take in the news. Minutes later I place my head in his shoulder. I'm exhausted. I hadn't realized it till now. _Life changing decisions can be overwhelming._

"What made you change your mind?" he finally asks.

_I'm shocked by the question. I was getting accustomed to the silence encircling us. _I look up to him.

"I don't know. You, me... everything..." I let the words float in the air for a while as I try to collect my thoughts.

"I was... I was sitting in the waiting room … surrounded by pregnant women, children, fathers, mothers... And I couldn't stop thinking I could be one of them in six months. That I can bring a child to this world. A life... a real person… it's just overpowering... and miraculous … and I couldn't destroy that… not again."

I'm looking at the lake again. Luka's arm moves around my back, holding me close.

"Thank you..." he whispers.

I turn to face him once more and I'm shocked to see a tear rolling down his cheek. _He's crying? Oh Luka... _

"You don't have to thank me. At least not yet. Though I'm grateful too, for everything. The support over the past days and all. I know I was driving you crazy... I was driving myself crazy..." I'm smiling now at the thought of that.

_The struggle I've been through over the past weeks, the dilemma hunting me every single minute of the day. Luka's gaze and questions, my uncertainty, my insecurities. I'm feeling more relaxed now. I know things are going to be more complicated, it's just the beginning after all but still... I'm not alone and we'll face it together. And right now, I can say I'm happy. As happy as I can be. _He's smiling too now. He bends down and kisses me softly on the lips. I welcome his kiss, and let him hold me. Eventually his arms relax a little around me and I shiver in cold.

"Wanna go home?" he asks.

"Yeah." I nod.

Together we get up from the bench and we start walking to my place. No words. We don't need them. And I know that even though, what we have may not be perfect, it's just right and it's going to be okay. And I'm fine with that. With the way things are. Just the way they are.


	15. Cravings

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning:_ This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

**This Chapter is more explicit so I would recommend to be more careful about it. Rating might be M.**

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

Luka and I just got to my apartment after being at the lake. I'm in the kitchen staring at the fridge trying to find something to eat. I was so preoccupied, I forgot to eat today and I'm starving. 

"Hungry?" Luka says as he walks behind me.

"Yeah. Famished. You?"

"I'm hungry too. Wanna go grab a bite outside or just take out? It doesn't look like you have anything… edible in there." He comments, gazing into the fridge and scrunching his nose.

"I know... haven't had much time to go shopping... I like the idea of take out. I don't feel like moving. I'm just tired." I mutter and close the fridge wearily.

"Ok, so take out it is. Anything in particular?" He murmurs understandingly and places a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"How about some pizza? Nothing complicated."

"I'll make the call." he walks towards the phone and I go to the bedroom to change.

As I'm removing my shirt he walks into the bedroom and places his hands around my waist. His breath is soft on my neck as he whispers.

"Food will be here in half an hour."

"Ok, thanks."

His hands move to my tense shoulders and he begins to massage them gently. I can feel myself relaxing instantly. As cliché as it sounds, he really does have healing hands. I groan as he turns me around to face him. I don't want him to stop. His face lingers on mine. I don't know what he's thinking but I feel myself shiver underneath his penetrating gaze. Finally, he lowers his face to mine and gently his lips meet mine in tender, languid kiss. Instinctively, I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. For the first time in the last few weeks, there isn't any trepidation in our movements. Gradually, the kiss deepens and he slowly lowers me to the bed and moves his lips to my neck. He pulls away for a moment to look into my eyes and I can see the desire glimmering in the dark green depths and I know I want him too.

I fumble with the buttons on his shirt but he stops me, kissing my finger tips softly. There is no rush tonight. He kisses me one more time and then slides off his shirt. My hands glide up his chest and I leave a trail of kisses up to his mouth, where he takes my mouth in his and we slowly lower to the bed once more. Our tongues meet, tangoing in an erotic dance and I hear myself moan as the kiss deepens. _Oh Luka... I can't believe we are here now, after all we've been through..._ He moves to my left side, his right hand is underneath me and his left one is moving slowly downwards caressing my bra, my belly, finally reaching my pants. He begins to unfasten them and I know he wants to remove them as much as I do but that means we have to stop kissing and I don't want our bodies to separate just yet. I move my own hands and gently brush his away as I attempt to remove them without breaking the kiss. His lips leave mine and I look at him with what must be desperation. He's laughing.

"What?" I ask rather flustered.

"Nothing... it's just …" He smiles and I scowl at him. _Way to ruin the moment._

"What's so funny?" I prop myself up on my elbows, looking up at him quizzically.

"You are..." he finally manages to say.

"What?" I'm starting to get defensive. He lies on his side, resting his head in his hand so he's eye level with me. Slowly he reaches up and trails his finger down my cheek, still smiling.

"You're a very naughty girl." He grins wickedly and now I realize he's teasing me. I glare at him, faux-pouting. Slowly, his face transforms. He's much more serious.

"And I love seeing you like this." He murmurs.

"Half naked?" I joke.

"No…" He amends after a glare from me. "Well, of course that too…" He smiles.

"I mean happy... I love seeing you happy." He smiles shyly as though he's disclosing a secret.

And then I realize that he's right. _I am happy. How many times in life can you say you are truly, deeply happy?_ I'm smiling and he's smiling too. He is grinning to be more precise.

"I guess I owe you for that." I say but he just shakes his head.

"No." He smiles, almost sadly.

"I can't make you happy." He continues. "Nobody has that power… except you. I know that now." I'm not entirely sure I agree but I let it rest.

"Well, thank you anyway. " I reply, smiling.

"I'm glad you're happy... because I'm happy too." he places his hands on either side of my face and moves slowly to kiss me.

I love his warm scent and the feel of his body against mine. I break away for a moment and climb on top of him, straddling him. He looks up at me and grins as my hands move down to his belt buckle.

"Crap." I groan as I hear the doorbell ring. He sighs disappointedly and then chuckles as I climb off of him, sulking.

"Hurry up." I whine, flopping back onto the bed, watching him re-buckle his pants.

"Okay, okay!" He chuckles as I throw him his shirt and urge him out the door. I hear him talking to the delivery guy and moments later I detect the faint smell of pizza wafting into my room. My stomach growls in reaction to the delicious smell.

I walk into the living room after putting on one of Luka's t-shirts. He is placing the pizza on the table.

"Do you mind if we eat? I'm starving." I say.

"Sure. I'll get some plates."

"No need." I mutter and grab a big ol' delicious, greasy slice and stuff it into my mouth. He smiles and shakes his head.

"You better take it easy." he laughs at me.

"I told you I was starving." I defend myself.

"Forgot to eat." I mutter with my mouth full.

"You didn't eat? Why didn't say something before...?" he's staring at me now.

"My mouth was otherwise engaged." I mumble in-between bites.

He laughs again and keeps on eating.

"You're still hungry?" He asks after I've polished off the final slice.

"Sort of... but I would _love_ something sweet actually."

"Sweet?"

"Yeah, like some chocolate cake... or ice cream!" I exclaim once I figured out my craving.

"You want ice cream?" He asks dubiously.

I nod excitedly.

"And you want me to go get you some, right?" he says smiling.

I get up from my chair and go sit in his lap.

"Would you, please?" I pout, giving him a soft kiss.

"You're shameless." He chuckles but he acquiesces.

"Ok, I'll go... but only if you promise to continue our little unfinished business."

"I wasn't going to let it unfinished..." I say kissing him passionately on the lips.

He wraps his arms around me and slides his hand underneath the shirt. Finally, I tear myself away.

"Chocolate ice cream please..." I grin sweetly.

"Kissing me makes you think of Chocolate Ice Cream?"

"Hey, that's my line!" I smile.

"I know..." he says smiling "Ok, I better get going or you'll be left with no ice cream and no clothes." he adds trying to free himself from underneath me.

"Yeah I think you are right." I say while a plant another kiss on his lips.

* * *

I must have dozed off on the couch because the next thing I know, I hear him shuffling around in the kitchen. 

"Ice cream?" I ask, pulling myself up from the couch and rubbing my eyes.

"Damn. I woke you." He mutters but pulls out a glorious carton of Ben & Jerry's. I nearly leap off the couch – fully awake now – and run to get my treat. He hands me a spoon and rolls his eyes good naturedly as I dig in.

"Hey, you're welcome." he grins.

He's been staring at me all along and I didn't even notice it. I was too involved with the ice cream.

"Sorry..." I say. "Thanks for the ice cream." I mumble, my mouth full.

"My pleasure." He grins, seductively and leans in for a kiss, after which he licks his lips.

"Hmm. Delicious." He smiles. I shake my head, wagging the spoon at him and together we head to the sofa.

"Wonderful. Where did you go that took you so long?" I ask him, realizing it's been close to an hour since he left.

"There was no chocolate ice cream in the store around the corner. I had to walk a while to find one that had some in stock." He explains.

"Oh... well, thanks for walking extra. You could've bought a different flavor though." _How sweet is he?_

"You said Chocolate and if I promised chocolate … I'm a man of my word." He smiles and reaches forward for another bite. I instinctively pull back, protecting my loot.

"A little protective, aren't we?"

"Oh, sorry." I grin offering up the carton. He takes it and sets it aside, leaning over to me slowly.

"I'd rather…" He licks the corner of my lips.

"Eat you." He continues and I giggle. I don't think he realizes what he just said but I feel myself blushing anyway. He pulls away, his eyebrows furled in confusion. I'm trying really hard not to laugh at his oblivion.

"Okay." I giggle.

"But uh… could it wait till I finish my ice cream?"

I lean forward trying to reach the carton but he catches me and effortless flips me over on the couch so I'm pinned beneath him. And suddenly I'm drowning in his scent and I think the ice cream can wait. Gently, he takes the hem of my shirt and lifts if over my head. I'm naked now, except for my underwear. His eyes are full of passion, and I try to pull him closer but he grins devilishly. Reaching over for the carton he scoops a spoonful and slowly drags the icy mixture over my belly. My body tenses as the frigid treat makes contact with my skin.

"Luka! That's cold!" I complain.

But then I can't keep my eyes off of him as he slowly leans forward and licks part of the sweetness off of me.

* * *

"Wow!" he says and lets himself collapse next to me. 

I'm grinning and turn my face around to look at him.

"Yeah... that was... wow!" I finally manage to say breathlessly.

"I think I can get used to this." he says.

"You think so?" I say teasingly while shift my body to face him resting my head on my hand.

"Don't you think so?" he asks teasing me.

"Well, I will have to agree... I'm just loving this."

He moves himself closer to me and kisses me on the lips.

"I'm exhausted" he says.

We are both underneath the covers in my bed and I'm just letting him hold me. I look up to him and just grin.

"What?" he asks.

"Nothing... I just need to get up for a second." I say.

"Get up? Where do you want to go?" I can tell he is confused.

"To the living room..." I add softly.

"For what? It's freezing outside!" he says.

"I know, I just..." I mumble, finally adding "I want the ice cream, alright!"

He just laughs at me.

"You want the ice cream?" he's actually enjoying this. _Unbelievable!_

"Yeah..." I'm smiling again now.

"And this is your way of telling me to go get it for you. Am I right?"

"Am I that obvious?" I say while I can't hold back a smile.

He just bends down and kisses me.

"Just sometimes..." he says while he removes the covers and puts on his underwear. Runs to the living room and comes running back with the ice cream in his hand.

"I don't think you can call this ice cream any more..." he says. He digs the spoon in and then as he is about to eat the melted mix I say:

"Hey! I thought you went to look for it for me!"

"Do you want it?" he is grinning like crazy.

"Yeah, I want it! Why would I ask for it if not! Come on! Give it to me!" I stand up on the bed wrapping myself with the covers and try to take it from his hand.

"Ok, I'll give it to you in exchange for something." he says mischeviously.

"What?" I'm looking at him not sure I want to hear what he wants.

"Nothing to complicated... Just come here." he says.

"Ok, but just promise you won't put more ice cream on me..."

"I won't, I promise..." he says but he's still smiling.

"If you betray my trust you are dead!" I say while I move slowly towards him.

He places his left arm around my back but still making sure that the ice cream is out of my reach with his right one. And then he just kisses me. A soft, sweet and affectionate kiss. I deepen the kiss and move my arms around his neck letting go of the covers which fall into the bed exposing my naked body. He finally can't resist it anymore and brings his right hand to my back as well.

"I got it!" I say while I jump on the bed with the ice cream in my hand.

"Hey, you tricked me!" he says grabbing me and making me fall into the bed with him on top. I can't stop laughing as he starts tickling me. He is laughing as well.

"Luka! Just... Stop... Please" I manage to say.

"Ok, I'll stop..." he says. He kisses me once more and then adds: "Look what you've done to the bed. It's a mess!"

"Hey, I'm not the only one here!" I say. He gets up from the bed and arranges the covers while I start eating the ice cream.


	16. Surprise

_Disclaimer: _I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning: _This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews and a special thank you to Ella! ;)

* * *

Luka and I were working the nightshift, it was a slow night so I decided to get some coffee at the Jumbo Mart. Luka was working with a patient and I didn't want to bother him. I was coming back into the ER with two coffee's in my hand, Neela had asked me to get her one, when I looked up to the clock in the Waiting Room. _Wow, it's already midnight. Tuesday is already here._ I keep walking and I reach the admin desk. _No one around. That's weird._ _Where did everyone go?_ I go to one of the computer's checking if the results of one of my patients is back. And then I feel someone's hand around my waist pulling me close. I turn around to find Luka smiling at me like crazy. 

"What?" I ask.

"Have a minute?"

"Yeah... is everything alright?"

"Just need to tell you something. Come here." He grabs me by the hand and we walk to one of the exam rooms that has all the blinds closed.

"What do you want to tell me?" I'm looking at him not really getting what's going on.

"Happy Birthday!" Haleh, Chuny, Neela, Jerry, Ray, Inez, Pratt and Morris are smiling back at me. They've been hiding there and I didn't even notice. There was a cake in the middle of the room and I'm suddenly being hugged by Neela.

"Wow... I wasn't expecting this." I finally manage to say once I let Neela go.

"Well, that's the point of a surprise!" she says.

"I know..." I'm smiling now and then I add: "Thanks to all of you"

"Jerry you better get back to the admin desk there is no one there. I'll put the cake in the lounge and who ever wants a piece just go get it in their break." Luka says.

"Yes, sir." Jerry says and starts walking to the door. He stops infront of me and pulls me into a hug. "Happy Birthday"

"Thanks Jerry!" I hug him back and finally he let's me back on the floor. Everyone goes back to work and I'm left alone with Luka who is just grinning.

"Was this your idea?" I ask, turning around accusingly.

"Partly. Neela and Jerry also helped"

"So that's why she asked me to go get some coffee! I can't believe this!" I'm looking around at the cake. "Thanks"

"My pleasure." he says pulling me close to him to kiss me. Our lips meet in a sweet and tender kiss. I move my arms to his neck and then I hear someone clearing their throat at the door.

"Sorry to interrupt you guys but there is an MVA rolling in... ETA 2 minutes" says Neela gazing at the floor.

"I'll get it." Luka says while he pulls himself away from me. He walks pass Neela towards the admin desk and to the ambulance bay.  
I can't help but smile like crazy and Neela just looks at me in puzzlement. "So... I guess that Christmas wasn't the only time you two have spent together lately"

"Very funny! I think I'm going to take the cake to the lounge..." I get the cake and start walking.

"Oh come on! Tell me about it!" she says following me closely.

"What do you want to know?" I whisper.

"Are you two dating now?"

I nod. I know I'm blushing now so thanks God the lounge happens to be empty.

"Ok, promise you won't tell anyone?" I say.

"Who am I going to tell?"

"Let me think... Michael? Ray?" I say

"Does anyone know?"

"Actually... Dr. Weaver knows" I say while I look in another direction.

"She knows! Oh my God, you told her before you told me?" _She must feel kind of hurt about that fact but..._

"I didn't tell her! She saw us kissing, like you did just some minutes ago"

"Oh... so that's the only way this is coming out... People walking on you two kissing"

"No, I mean... We want to keep it a secret, just for a while... The first time we dated things didn't end up the best way..."

_I can't tell her we want to take it slow. Pretty soon people will know I'm pregnant and then what am I going to tell her?_

"How long have you two being going out? Hold on... don't tell me it was... You did tell me the truth when you said you slept with Luka?" her eyes are widely open as she realizes it.

I don't seem to get any words out and just nod.

"Oh my God! That was when Michael came back home... In October! We are in January for God's sake! How long do you want to keep it a secret?"

"I don't know. Now that you know, and that Weaver knows... I don't think it will be a secret much longer"

"Well, it was really nice of her not to say anything. But then... who is she going to tell actually"

"Hey..." we are interrupted when Ray walks into the lounge. "I thought I might get a piece of cake know that everything seems to be peaceful. What are you two up to?"

"Nothing..." we both say at the same time. And I can't help but smile.

"Yeah, right"

"Girl talk Ray. You wouldn't be interested." I say. "I better get back to work, my break is probably over by now"

I leave the two of them alone in the lounge and walk back to the admin desk. I need to check the results of my patient now.

* * *

Seven hours later I walk into the lounge to go home. There was only two pieces of cake left. 

"Hi there." I turn around to find Luka sitting behind a pile of paperwork. I didn't even notice him.

"Hey... I didn't see you there. Seems like they enjoyed the cake, there isn't almost nothing left"

"Yeah I know... Did you eat a piece?"

"I did. Around 3 am. And you?" I start walking to my locker.

"Yeah... I did... So heading home?"

"Yeah, I know it's been a slow night but I'm exhausted anyway. Are you staying?" I remove my lab coat and my stethoscope leaving them inside the locker.

"Actually, I was thinking you could come to my place and I'll give your present..."

"You bought me a present?" I turn around to look at him.

"Something like that..." he is grinning.

"Something like that?" I'm grinning too now.

And then Sam walks into the lounge and says:

"Hey Abby... Happy Birthday! I'm sorry I wasn't here last night but I was unable to leave Alex." She walks towards me and hugs me. I can feel Luka's eyes on my back.

"Thanks! And don't worry." I say while I let go of her. "There is still a some cake left if you want"

"Thanks but I think I'll pass. Just had breakfast" she walks to her locker. "Hi Luka... Didn't see you there. Are you hiding?"

"Not really. Just a lot of paperwork. But anyway, I'm going home"

"Well, see you. My shift is about to start." Sam says while she walks out of the lounge.

"That was weird." he says.

"Do you think she knows or what?"

"I don't think she knows, at least not yet." he remains silent for a minute and then adds: "So do you want to know about your present?" he says while he gets up from the chair and walks to me.

"Your present?" _Oh right!_

"You actually thought I forgot, right?"

"Well, yeah... I forgot myself. I looked at the clock at midnight and I didn't even remember"

"Where is your head this days?" he says teasingly. I just laugh at that. His arms move around my waist pulling me closer and finally he kisses me passionately. _Oh God... this feels great!_

"Maybe we should leave before someone else walks in"

"Yeah, you are probably right." he says but kisses me again and again.

"Luka...!" I mumble between them.


	17. Birthday Present

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning:_ This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

**This Chapter is more explicit so I would recommend to be more careful about it. Rating might be M.**

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews and a special thank you to Ella! ;)

Hi everyone! I know it took me a long time to update, but I had some family problems. > Anyway, thanks for the patience and the reviews! I hope you like this new chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

Luka is driving back to his apartment and I'm looking out the window thinking about what happened tonight. 

"Penny for your thoughts..." he says.

"What? Oh... Sorry..." I say. _He just caught me off guard._

"So what you thinking about?"

"Everything that happened during our shift. I can't believe you pulled out a surprise party and I didn't even notice. Thank you again."

I turn around to look at him and he's smiling.

"And you're welcome... again." he says. "Did you like it?"

"Yeah, it was a nice surprise." I reply smiling as well.

* * *

"I'm exhausted" I say while I let myself fall on the couch. 

"So does this mean you don't want your present?"

"I didn't say that..." I'm looking straight to his eyes and he's grinning.

He sits next to me on the couch and bends down to kiss me but I place my fingers gently over his lips.

"Aren't you going to give it to me? Or did you actually bring me here with false pretences?" I ask inquiringly.

"Oh, so you are only here for your gift?" he ask raising an eyebrow.

"No... but that's a big reason." I reply grinning.

_What would it be? I wasn't expecting anything at all but now I really want to know!_

"Ok, I'll give it to you. Wait here." he says and goes upstairs.

Moments later he's sitting next to me again and hands me a small rectangular box with a red bow on top.

"Open it."

I open it slowly to find a beautiful silver necklace with a locket.

_Oh my God..._

"Thought you might want to add a picture of the baby once it's born, and you did sound a little disappointed when I told you it wasn't a necklace your Christmas present."

"It's beautiful. Thank you Luka!" I say and move forward to kiss him. He wraps his arms around my waist and brings me to his lap.

"You're welcome. Happy Birthday." he says.

He kisses me again but this time I can feel his tongue probing inside me in an exploration quest. I let him play with my tongue while I play with his. My arms move slowly around his neck and his hands bring me even closer to his body. I let the box fall on the couch without even noticing it. His hands travel along my clothes to the hem of my shirt and then he places them against the small of my back. I can't help but jump off the couch.

"They're cold!" I say.

"Not for long!" he says while he stand up and kisses me again.

His hands move again to my waist. I move my own to meet them and our finger intertwine together. When we finally part and he starts walking to the stairs.

"Where do you think you're going?" I ask

"To bed... where else? You don't want to come?"

"I wouldn't mind but..." _I'm not sure if I should say this... I know he is going to gloat._

"But what?"

"Ok... mmm..." I look away...

"Abby?"

"I'm hungry alright. I can't believe it but I'm hungry again."

He's grinning and laughing at me.

"Want some breakfast?"

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not. I'll make you breakfast and then we can go to bed."

He walks to the kitchen and I sit at the bar watching him cook.

"Want some tea with your waffles?"

"Yeah please. I'm going to change while you finish." I head to the stairs but he makes me turn around when he says...

"I wouldn't put too much clothes on, they're not going to last on you."

I'm grinning...

"Shut up!" I turn around again and he chases after me. He catches me when I reach the first step and makes me look at him. He places a sweet but passionate kiss on my mouth and suddenly I'm moaning in pleasure. We finally part and he runs back to remove the waffles before they get burned.

"I'll be right back and you are forbidden to follow me"

"I am? Why is that?" he starts walking slowly towards me.

"I really want to eat and if you do we aren't going to be eating for at least an hour."

A small smile begins to creep from the edges of his lips and finally turn into a huge grin.

"And that's bad?"

"No, it's not bad... it's great alright! But let's calm one desire at a time."

"Ok, and hunger goes first...?"

"Right now... it does... so back to the kitchen." I point towards the kitchen. _That came out partly as a command and partly as a plead._

"Ok, but you better make up for this one" before he heads back to remove the kettle from the fire, which just started whistling, he steals a quick kiss. I smile and go upstairs.

When I walk downstairs again, wearing a top and a pair of sweat pants, I see him placing the plates on the table.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Now eat... before I change my mind of the order we should be doing this" he's looking at me with longing eyes and my heart skips a beat.

After I finished the last waffle, I get up and head to put it in the sink. I can sense his eyes on me. I'm about to start washing it...

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Washing my plate... what does it look like I'm doing?"

"Now you're funny? Just leave it... I have other plans." he's standing right behind me, leaves his own plate inside the sink and wraps his arms around my waist. I turn around to face him.

"Yeah? Which plans? Tell me it's sleeping because I'm exhausted..."

"You're kidding me, right?" he's nibbling me neck, which sends sparks of electricity down my spine. _This feels good... though it kind of tickles._

"Does it look like I'm kidding?" _Ok, I'm teasing him a little bit but I am really tired. I really don't know what's wrong with me lately._

He stops kissing my neck and looks straight into my eyes. "So you aren't going to make it up to me?"

"Hey, it's my birthday. I can do what I want, right?"

"And you want to sleep?" he let's out a sigh and places his forehead against mine.

And I'm laughing at his expression... _Oh my God, sometimes he can be funny... _I place my hands on each side of his face and kiss him. It was intended to be a small, quick kiss but the moment our lips touch each other I feel the passion traveling along my body. His tongue probes inside me once more, searching for my own and my hands swift slowly to the back of his neck. _Wow... This is what I call a kiss..._ He's hands wrap around my waist tighter and pulling me upwards making me sit on top of the counter. I open my legs and he places himself between them. _Ok, maybe this time he wins... _

The kisses begin to grow deeper, hungrier and in a way even animalistic. His hands leave the small of my back and begin moving slowly to my thighs. _It's like they're on fire, we are on fire... _The heat is becoming excruciating and suddenly I'm hot, really hot. My own hands I realize are playing with the hem of his shirt and a moment later I'm undoing it. I'm actually shacking. _Why am I shacking? It's not the first time... _His right hand meets mine and stops me. I have to stop kissing him now and look at him.

"What?" _He wants me to stop?_

He's smiling, that smile that makes my heart melt and skip more than a beat.

"What?" I have to ask again when he doesn't reply and he's staring at me.

"You have no idea how much I missed you..."

"What do you mean? I'm here... aren't I?"

"I don't mean now... I mean, back then... when... when we weren't together."

"You mean when I was with Carter and you decided to save the World?"

"Yeah..." he gazing at the floor not wanting to meet my eyes.

"I knew it! You weren't _that_ drunk!"

"Well, I already felt bad about what happened after the Christmas party and it was a good excuse."

"It wasn't a good excuse, I didn't believe you! I always thought that you were trying to avoid me after that."

"I was, why else do you think I went to Africa?"

"You didn't go to save the World? Oh my God... You were actually running away from me? I can't believe this..." _Wow... he did leave because of me... he almost got killed because of me!_

"It was obvious! I always thought women have like a six sense to this type of things... You want me to believe that it never crossed your mind I was running away from you?"

_I guess I can't lie to him about this now that we are being honest._

"Ok, maybe once, or twice... but when you came back you seemed to be... I mean, I was so happy that you were actually alive." Tears start gathering in my eyes, everything seems to come back to me all of sudden. "I thought I was going to die when Chuny came to me and said you were dead... I was having a stupid meaningless argument with Carter and she just came to the ambulance bay and said it... _"Luka's dead" _and my heart just broke right there."

_And now I'm crying... in front of him._ _What the hell is wrong with me?_ He holds me tight, close to him. I place my head on his chest feeling his heart beating, it's going fast.

"I'm so sorry... I never thought you felt that way."

"Well, me neither. You had to _die _for me to realize it. I guess it's true that you never know what you have until you lose it." I'm sobbing now. I don't want to see his expression but at the same time I need to.

"But why didn't you say something when I came back?"

"You weren't exactly alone when you came back, remember? And besides, Carter's stupid letter made me really angry so I wasn't in my best."

"Yeah I know…" he sighs and after a minute adds: "I'm not going to lose you again." he looks right into my eyes and I know it. I do believe him.

He slowly bend down and our lips meet again. And this time we don't part, we just kiss each other as we hadn't done it for years. His hands move slowly underneath my top while my own are removing his shirt. We reluctantly pull away when he removes my top. His eyes are full of understanding, longing and desire. I wrap my arms around his neck once again, he moves closer to me and I lock my legs behind him. And then he starts moving towards the stairs. We keep staring at each other not wanting to lose connection. Once we reach the bedroom he slowly drops me on the bed. He lays on my right side and places a sweet soft kiss on my neck. His hands are still around my waist but they begin moving to my thighs. He props himself on his left elbow and looks down at me.

"Are you still tired?" he whispers in my ear, after his tongue plays with my earlobe making me shiver with delight.

I swathe my arms around his neck and when he lifts his head to look at me I plant a passionate kiss on his mouth. I let my tongue explore and he does the same with his. I can feel him hard against my thighs, without warning a small moan escapes me. Suddenly both his hands begin to remove my sweat pants and I raise my hips so he can slide them off. I realize I have the same urge to feel his warm skin against mine so I start to unbuckle his pants. He finally parts from my lips in his need to get rid off them along with his underwear. I look at him and he's grinning, _one of those smiles that makes you feel the most important person on Earth, actually the only person. Nothing else matters, just us. It's only us... Well, us and the baby. Our baby._

He bends once more to meet me in a hungry kiss, his gaze is penetrating, discovering, and overpowering. The heat and yearning is becoming unbearable. I move my arms once more around him, our bodies swift and now I'm the one on top. My hair falls loose over my shoulders, moments later his left hand is placing it behind my ear. I move my head so it falls in my left side and he kisses me softly on the neck. My own lips move slowly to his neck and I play with my tongue. He lets out a soft moan, and I sense his breath against my skin. _How could I possibly live without him all this years? How could I let him walk away? Why did I walk away? Because it was me the one that first did it, I walked away on our relationship… I pushed him away… Ok, Abby stop thinking about it…_

He suddenly stops kissing me, he must've sensed something was wrong and looks at me.

"You ok?"

_How can he tell? Am I that obvious? Or does he know me so well that he can tell without even looking at me?_

"I was just thinking that's all." I look straight into his eyes.

"About?"

"Us…" I can't look at him now, I sit on the bed and gaze out the window.

"Abby… what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Right now nothing is wrong, but suddenly I can't help but think everything that I did wrong last time. How I pushed you away, and then I walked away."

"Hey, I thought we agreed that it was my fault things didn't work out the first time." I turn around to look at him. And he's smiling.

"And now you're teasing me. Great!"

"I'm kidding... Sorry… Hey, I know there are two people in a relationship and it takes two to ruin it. But still, it didn't work out the first time because neither of us was ready to face it. Think about it." He looks down and then adds "You were right when you said I was married to a ghost…"

_Oh my God, he didn't just say that. Please, I'd like to be swallowed by the Earth now…_

"Hey, it's ok. I would probably haven't dared to face it if you hadn't said anything. So thank you. I needed to let her go, she would've wanted me to live. And I don't think I can picture myself with anyone else but you."

"Luka… I didn't mean it when I said it. I was really upset and angry about the whole evening…"

"I know, I was angry too. And I did say some nasty things myself. But we forgave each other long ago, right?" He caresses my arm with his fingertips.

"Yeah, we did. We wouldn't be here if not. Sorry for bringing this up like this."

"It's ok, I'm glad we did. I like this new communication we are building. I mean, we are not yet there where we can talk openly but we will get there eventually. One step at a time, ok?"

I nod. I wrap my arms around him. He places a soft kiss on top of my head and whispers.

"So were where we?" and now I know he's grinning.

"I think I was here…" I kneel on the bed and nibble his neck.

"I think you are right."


	18. Shopping Time

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning:_ This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews and a special thank you to Ella! ;)

* * *

We just got off from a night shift and though I'm supposed to be exhausted after work I can't seem to get my any sleep at all. I'm tossing and turning around in the bed. Luka's back towards me. I turn around and finally say: 

"Are you awake?"

"Barely." he mumbles.

"I can't sleep."

"Difficult to sleep when you talk."

_Well, he does have a point there but..._

"I keep thinking about stuff."

"Just stop thinking about stuff"

_Yeah, right... because that's so easy to do. _I shift my body to face him and start poking him on the back.

"Don't you wanna know what I'm thinking about?"

_Come on, just look at me..._

"hmm..."

He sighs and finally turns around.

"uh huh... Yeah."

"I'm thinking about what everyone is gonna say when they find out."

"I think... they'll be happy for you."

"Us."

"mm hmm " he says agreeing.

"But so, I don't think we should tell anybody for... for a couple of weeks."

_Yeah, and it will give me some time to get used to the idea as well. _After a moment of silence he adds:

"Ah... I might've mentioned something to my father."

"You might've mentioned something to your father?"

_He has to be kidding me… Oh my God, someone knows! I mean besides Coburn. _I have to look at him now. I turn my head around and lift it from the pillow.

"He is in Croatia, who is he gonna tell? Did you mention something to your mother?"

_My mother! Oh my God, I need to tell my mother! _

"Oh God no! I need to built up to that one... Like to wait until at least he is in high school."

"He...?"

_I did say he, didn't I? Does this mean I want a boy?_

"Or She... Except I gotta think I'd be better with a boy because I mother - daughter dynamic just scares the hell out of me."

_Let's face it, my relationship with mother isn't the best one. _After another moment of silence he adds:

"We are gonna have a baby."

_Oh my God, I'm having a baby and with Luka!_

"I know!" I say and then add smiling: "It's so crazy..."

He just smiles back at me and laughs. _He looks so cute right now. _I finally can't take it anymore and sit on the bed.

"Where are you going?" he's looking at me quizzically.

"I can't sleep."

"Well, you should sleep, you need to rest."

"I'm too wired. And I want something to eat."

"Again?"

_Hey, don't remind me I'm hungry again, I can't explain it myself..._

"Just something little like a poptart"

"No, no more poptarts! I'll get you something" he says while he stretches on the bed. "I'll make you some breakfast, or something… something."

I know he's tired but I can't help it and start bouncing on the bed while I put my best pouting face.

"Ah, I'm coming, I'm coming." he finally says.

I get up from the bed, put on my slippers and start walking to the stairs. He comes right behind me and wraps his arms around me while he softly nibbles my neck.

"What do you want for breakfast?"

"Waffles would be good."

"Ok, waffles it is."

I'm sitting at the table eating my waffles when Luka, who is walking from the kitchen to the table, asks:

"What's that?"

"A list of things I need to do before the baby comes" I'm writing them down in a pad, that way I don't forget anything.

"Why you got a list?"

"Well, there is a lot of stuff to do. I mean, there are a ton of things to get" _As you don't know that! Ok, I'm not going to say it._

"Baby monitor?"

"Yeah, so you can hear the baby when you are not in the same room." _Ok, that's gotta be a joke. _

"I know what it is. This apartment isn't that big, if that baby is awake you'll know it."

"Maybe it's not for this apartment." _Yeah, maybe… Oh God, where are we going to live? Are we going to keep both apartments?_

"Well, yours is even smaller. Sorry but it is…" I shrug. _Ok, so he didn't get it, or maybe he isn't ready to discuss it yet, or maybe he thinks I'm not ready. _"How's your breakfast?"

"Would you like some…"

I interrupt him and say:

"You know thank God that human species has a nine month gestation period, can you imagine if we were rats and I was gonna pump this thing out in like 6 weeks... Isn't that scary?"

"No, but you are scaring me..." he's looking at me not believing what he's hearing.

"Really?" I'm threatening to throw a piece of my waffle at him with my fork while I smile.

"No… Come on, don't you dare..." he raises a hand blocking his face with it.

"Don't I dare... Are you daring me?" I move the fork even farther down.

"Whoa, what is it with you?"

"I don't know... I don't know!" I drop the fork on the plate. _Hell, if I only knew!_ "It's like… like a hormonal surge… I can't sleep, I can't stop eating… I… Maybe I'm nesting? Do you think I'm…" _Or maybe I finally lost it, and I'm crazy… _"No… I just think I need to get ready."

"You still have plenty of time."

_You really think six months is plenty of time? It's already been three months and I'm not sure what happened!_

"Yes, I know you say that but it's going to go fast so I think. I don't wanna jinx anything but maybe we should just look at some things. I mean, not to buy but to do some comparison shopping for later"

"You wanna go shopping?"

"I wanna go looking"

"Baby monitors?"

"Yes. Monitors, cribs, car seats… Maybe a little mobile of famous Croatian diplomats."

He looks at me with a _what the heck is that supposed to mean face._

"It's a joke." I shake my head. _Now I'm not funny, though he is smiling._ I go back to finish my waffle. I can still feel his eyes on me.

"What?" I look at him once more and he's still smiling.

"Nothing. Did I say something?"

"No, but you are staring at me, which means you are thinking of something. Come on, say it!"

"I better don't."

"Oh come on, you were talking about getting our communications skills better, now say it." _I'm actually intrigued on what he is thinking._

"I just… I've never seen you like this and it's weird." He gets up from his chair and moves closer to me.

"Weird. Like in scary weird? Am I really that scary?" _Should I start worrying now?_

"Yeah, you acting a little bit odd but it's also kind of… cute. I like what I see." He bends down slowly and plants a small kiss on my lips. "Finished?"

"Yeah." I let him take my plate and he walks to the kitchen. "I'm going to take a shower, and then we can go out."

"Ok, I'll clean the kitchen." I know what he's thinking about when he looks at me with those eyes and I better hurry if I actually want to take a shower.

And I was right not even 5 minutes later I feel his arms around my waist. "You don't mind if I join you, do you?"

"If you hadn't I would've probably thought you had fallen in the kitchen and hit your head with something."

"Am I that predictable?" I can see he's a little bit disappointed.

"Just sometimes…" I'm laughing at him but I have to stop when he kisses me.


	19. Our First

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning:_ This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

**This Chapter is more explicit so I would recommend to be more careful about it. Rating might be M.**

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews and a special thank you to Ella! ;)

* * *

We are walking down the street on a cold Chicago afternoon, I'm reading the list I've made earlier today. 

"so… crib, cradle, changing table"

"Your gonna need a special table for changing a baby, why can't we change him in a crib?"

_He's got to be kidding. _

"What?" he's looking at me.

"Stroller, we need two car seats." _I can't answer that, so I just keep going._

"Two?"

"Yes, one for your car, one for my car."

"Oh, right."

_Oh no, we have two apartments! What are we going to do?_

"Oh, right. We need two of everything. We need a crib for your place and a crib for my place. And a changing table for your place and a changing table for my place."

"I can still change him in a crib."

"Yes, but what if _she_ pees while you are changing her and soaks the mattress."

"Ok, so if we have twins, we are gonna need to have four of everything?"

"I'm not having twins." _No way! I can barely handle the idea of one, and he wants two!_

"Ah… Identical twins run in my family."

"Are you kidding me?" I stop walking and turn around to face him. _He has to be kidding me. Impossible!_

"What? I mean, chances are really small"

"If your mutant Croatian seed causes me to have twins I swear…" _He's actually having fun with this. I can't believe it! _

"Listen, look at it from the sunny side. If we have a custody fight, each one of us is gonna take a kid… Identical twins." I start walking again because I can't believe we are having this conversation in the middle of the street. "Hey, exactly the same."

_Yeah, like I don't know what identical twins are! Oh God… I'm just NOT having twins._

I turn around to look at him and say:

"Got it…" _Come let's keep moving… I'm freezing! _

He's grinning now, and now I know he's just joking. _Oh God he can be so cute sometimes, even when I want to kill him._

We walk into a store and we start looking around. _What am I doing here? I'm actually baby shopping? Oh God… _I'm staring at a stroller, Luka comes behind me.

"What you thinking?"

"We are actually baby shopping?" I turn around and look right into his eyes.

"Looks like it… What? I thought you wanted to go shopping?"

"I mean, I do but I can't believe we are actually doing it!"

"Hey, it's just looking. Remember?"

I nod and start looking at some things that are around us. I spot a baby carrier and grab it. I turn around to find Luka looking at a bunch of toys.

"Come here. Put this on."

He removes his coat and so do I.

"Why do I have to do this? Why can't you try it yourself?"

_Where the heck does this go? _He's making a gray elephant toy squeak.

"Ah… here turn around… Just play with your toy."

"Can I help you?" _Oh Crap… _I stop trying to put the carrier on and look around at an overexcited saleswoman.

"Oh no, we are just looking."

"Oh that's really cute, isn't it?" the saleswoman says pointing at the gray elephant.

"Yeah." He says.

He removes the baby carrier from his back.

"So are you looking for a gift, or this is for you?"

"It's for me... Us. We are having a baby… Together." _Wow, I said it out loud to a complete stranger. _

"Is this going to be your first?" She is smiling with this really creepy smile and I'm terrified to answer.

"Yeah." He says.

_What? Oh God… I have to look at Luka right now…_ _He didn't just say that…_ _I mean, yeah it's our first one together but… Oh Crap… Look at me! Ok, maybe don't._ The saleswoman finally leaves us alone and then I look at him once again.

"What?"

I know I'm staring at him, _I don't know what to tell him._

"It is our first, together I mean. Oh come on, it's ok. Really." He leaves the baby carrier and then says: "I'm going to buy the elephant." He walks to the cashier. _Oh God, we'll need to talk about this eventually, I guess a baby store isn't the right place to do it though. _I get my coat, and put it on. He comes back with a bag full of things. He puts on his coat and scarf.

"I thought you said the elephant?" I look down at the bag and he's smiling.

"Well, we'll need this things eventually."

"Ok, so don't blame me. I said we had to go looking... You were the first one to decide to buy something!"

"I know. Come on. There are some more things on the other side of the store."

"Clothes? You want to look at clothes?"

_Oh God… Holy Crap, who can fit in here? _I'm holding a pair of pants that are just huge.

"Wow, look at this… If I get this big, I think I'm gonna want kill myself"

"Women look the most beautiful when they're pregnant."

_Yeah, right because he's not the one that's gaining weight!_

"You're such a liar."

"No, I'm serious." He's grinning and I'm smiling like an idiot myself. _What's going on with me?_

The doorbell rings and I look around to see who entered automatically.

"Crap" I duck behind the rack of clothes. _Oh no… this isn't happening._

"What?" _Oh God, Luka come here… _I grab him by the sleeve and make him duck with me.

"It's Debbie Dockins from the Pharmacy." I look barely above the rack of clothes trying to spot her.

"Who?"

"Don't look." He was pulling his head above the rack himself, thankfully I got him before he could.

"Ah."

"If she spot's the two of us in a baby store together holding bags and stuff she is gonna tell everybody"

"I don't even know who she is"

"She know who you are."

"I don't think so."

_He can't be seriously that naïve!_

"Oh Luka, every woman that works in the hospital knows who you are, trust me…" _What do we do now? _"Ok… Let's go." I get some clothes of the rack and head towards the dressing rooms. On my way there I'm seen by a saleswoman "I'm trying this on."

I hear Luka telling the her that my back is bothering me. _Yeah right, that or I'm hiding!_ I enter the dressing room which thankfully is big enough to hide us both. He pokes his head and I grab him once more from the sleeve pulling him inside.

"Get in!"

"How long are we going to stay in here?" I open the curtains to check if she is still there. _Just leave please. _

"Just until she leaves"

"When will that be?"

"I don't know… Shhh"

"Well, don't shhh me"

I turn around to face him and shush him again teasingly. He takes hold of the lapels on my coat and pulls me closer. I keep shushing him and he starts whispering.

"Don't shush me, we're hiding in a…" he doesn't finish us our lips meet in a kiss. He let's out a moan in between kisses. He suddenly removes my coat which falls to the floor, and then removes his own, along with his scarf.

"Luka, we should stop." I mumble barely parting my lips from his. I move my arms around his neck. _Or maybe I don't want to stop…_

"No, you started this." He says deepening the kiss. _Oh God…_ And then he pulls me down to the floor. _We are in a dressing room for God's sake! There are people outside._

"Luka… there are people outside." I whisper.

"So keep it quiet." He's kissing my neck now.

"You can't be serious. It's a dressing room, inside a baby store?"

"Hey, they know we've done it before, that's why we are shopping for baby stuff."

"Now you're funny!"

"Stop talking." He says and kisses me once more on the lips. His tongue just tastes so good about now. His hands are now on my pants undoing them. _Oh God… _

"Is everything alright in there?" a voice comes through the curtains.

I place my hand on top of Luka's mouth and say: "Yes, everything is alright. Be out in a minute."

I hope that didn't sound to breathlessly. He's laughing now. "A minute?" he whispers in my ear.

"You seriously want to finish this here?"

"What do you think?" he's looking at his pants.

"Oh God… ok, think of something else."

"As if I can when I have you are in the same room with me…"

"You are kidding, right? You aren't fifteen anymore!" he's nibbling my neck and I don't think we can go anywhere if he doesn't stop that. _Abby, come on… take control here!_

I finally manage to get away from his kisses and get up. I put my pants on. He's staring at me from the floor.

"Come on, we can find a better place to do this." I offer him a hand, he takes it but instead of me pulling him upwards, he pulls me down with a quick move.

"Hey, the idea was to get up!"

"I know…" he's kissing me again.

* * *

"Wow… never thought a dressing room was a good place to do this." 

"Yeah, well… I think it's a great place." He whispers in my ear.

"Is there anything you need in here?" another voice comes from behind the curtain.

"Oh Crap, get up!" I whisper.

"No, everything is alright. Thanks." Luka says.

We finally get out of the store and he is laughing. We are walking back to the car. I hold my breath until we are inside.

"Stop laughing! I can't believe we just did that!"

"Oh come on! Was it bad?"

"It's not that! You know what I mean! And Debbie Dockins was in the store! Oh God!"

"She left, didn't she?"

"Yeah, she did but that's not the point. You need to keep him in your pants in public places."

"Hey, you started this. Remember?" he's looks at me accusingly.

"No I didn't! I just shushed you. That's all... If you took it as a foreplay sign, not my fault!"

"Yeah, well maybe you shouldn't look like that."

"Like what?" I'm confused now. _How do I look?_

"So damn beautiful and desirable." _What!_

"Yeah, right! Come on, let's get out of here before I smack you with the squeaking elephant!"


	20. Beyond Words

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning:_ This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

**This Chapter is more explicit so I would recommend to be more careful about it. Rating might be M. Skip the lastparagraph if you want to make sure.**

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews and a Special Thank You to Ella! ;)

* * *

"I'm never going shopping with you again! You don't know how to behave" I walk to the couch and drop all my stuff on it. 

"I don't know how to behave? You are kidding me! I _do_ know how to behave, except when I'm with you."

"Yeah, right. Now it's all my fault." I turn around to look him, _I'm trying to put my best angry face but it's not working when he's smiling at me._

He walks towards me and helps me out of my coat.

"It was fun, wasn't it?"

"I'm never going to be able to enter that store again in my life, you do realize that?"

"You'll live."

"Very funny. Now I need food. What's there to eat?"

"Again? We just stopped for lunch! You want something more?"

"Yeah, something with sugar. You don't have ice cream, do you?"

"Actually I do, I bought some chocolate ice cream the other day, thought you might want some if you came over."

He walks to the fridge and removes the carton from inside. _He bought me ice cream? _I walk to meet him half way from the kitchen and he's smiling.

"Thank you. How did you know I would want chocolate again?"

"I guessed." he's grinning.

_Oh God, he can be cute when he wants._ I take the carton and the spoon from his hands, walk back to the couch while I dig in. _This is wonderful!_ I sit on the only free space left of the couch as it's all full of bags and our coats. He starts gathering everything, leaves the coats on the hanger by the door and the bags on the table. Finally he sits down next to me on the couch.

"How is it?"

"Wonderful" it came out muffled by the ice cream in my mouth.

"I can see that."

"So what do you want to do for the rest of the day?"

"Not sure, I'm actually tired from the shopping excursion. Do you mind if we just stay and watch some movies or something?"

"That's fine by me." he's staring at me now.

"What?" _Maybe I have chocolate all over my face._

"Did I say something?"

"No, but you are staring. So what is it?"

"I'm not staring!"

"Oh come on Luka! I know when you are staring, and you were definitely staring!"

"Ok, maybe I was... So what?"

"I don't know you tell me! When you do that you usually want to say something."

He looks away finally staring now at the darkness of the TV.

"Luka...?"

"What did Coburn say when you went to see her?"

"She just told me what we already know. We are both doctors, and I was an OB nurse, remember? She didn't tell me anything new. I have another appointment with her in a couple weeks."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"Do you want to come?"

"I asked you first!"

"I'm not going to force you to come if you don't want to."

"You know that's not an answer. Do you want me to go with you?"

I don't reply, I just gaze at the TV. _We'll be able to hear the heartbeat and even see it. Yeah, I want him to come but I don't want this to be too painful._

"Abby…?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking. Yes, I would like you to come with me but I don't want you to feel like you have to. If it's too hard for you I understand." _I can't look at him now. Earlier at the store I knew we would have to talk about this eventually, I didn't think it would be so soon._

"Look at me." He places his hand softly on my arm and I turn around to meet his eyes. _I can see his hurt deep inside, the anguish that has been hiding all this years it's still there._ _They're gone but still with him. _"I want to go with you, I know it's going to be hard but I want to be with you. And I told you before we are in this together. I'm not going to walk away, no matter what." He remains silent, but I know him, he still has something in his mind and he's trying to gather the words, to find the best way to say it.

"They're part of who I am, of course I miss them. They were my family and they'll always be a part of my past. I don't want to forget them, but I don't want them to become everything I am. I want to be more than the guy who lost his family during the war." He's eyes are dwelling not to let the tears fall, _suddenly I feel his agony as if their carrying them to me. And though I can't even imagine how much pain, how much sorrow he must've felt and feels still there is nothing I can do to change his history but there are things I can do to make him happy now, or at least I hope so._

I slowly move to the coffee table and leave the chocolate ice cream carton on top. I take his hand in mine and our fingers come together in perfect harmony. I swift my body so I can face him and finally say:

"Luka…" my voice comes out hoarse, I didn't expect that. My own eyes have tears gathering and I'm about to break down. _Damn hormones!_ "I don't want you to forget them, I would never ask you to do something like that."

A single drop unhurriedly escapes him, my right hand moves to encounter his cheek, drying the tear away. My attempt to take away the anguish, the pain, the heartbreak, though meaningless compared to the feeling itself it's rewarded by his hand meeting mine and a tender kiss on it. I prop myself on my knees and bend slowly but surely to kiss him. Our lips carry the hope and the unspoken words. He wraps his arms around my waist transporting me to his lap. My own arms move to encircle his neck. When our lips finally part I look steadily at his eyes, his right hand strokes my left cheek removing the tears that have been released without warning.

"Thank you." He says.

"For what?" _Sometimes he makes me wonder if I really understand him after all._

"For everything, for this. For the baby, for us." _And suddenly it dawns on me, is this his way to tell me he loves me? No, it can't be. Not yet at least. Do I love him? Oh God, I do but I'm not there yet, I can't just tell him. Can I?_

Our lips converge once again in a sweet but passionate kiss, his tongue summits a request for access and it has already been granted. His arms tighten around me and my own arms try to bring him even closer. _I can't say it yet but I can show him I love him. I love you Luka, God knows how much I love you._ And somehow I have the impression he already knows, maybe he knew before I did. _Why does love hurt so much? It can be so beautiful but at the same time it can tear you apart and leave you helpless. I understand now, it's not about two people anymore. It's beyond us, it's a connection that travels through us, and makes us complete. You don't know something's missing till you find it and suddenly I realize I just found what I've been missing my whole life, him and the baby, together._ He drops me caringly on the couch and positions himself above me. His left hand caress my right thigh while his fingertips transfer his warmth through the fabric of my pants. My hands have left his neck to reallocate themselves in the small of his back searching for the end of his sweater, seeking access to his skin. I have the urge to come closer to him and seems he does too. He moves both his hands to the hem of my pullover and in a swift movement it's gone. His eyes are on me, and though they're transmitting his desire, the passion, they also pass his love, his understanding. _Oh God, how can our eyes communicate so much without a word been said?_ Moments later his bare chest touches mine sending me to a place where it's just us, nothing else matters. I close my eyes to gather it all, to understand what all this means. _I only want to feel him._ His mouth moves gradually to my neck, my earlobe, my collarbone… his left hand removes the strap of my bra followed by his soft kisses on my skin. His lips send shivers down my spine, his breathe reminds me of his tenderness. He disposes my bra without hesitation and my hands move to unbuckle his pants. Reluctantly he stands up, without losing our eyes the connection, he gets rid of his pants and underwear. And moments later the remains of my clothes are gone. Finally skin meets skin as our naked bodies come together at last in their sublime quest for ecstasy. My mouth finds his skin so sweet and the affection travels through the air. _No words are needed, we never needed them much, right from the start of our relationship. Sometimes I thought we had a communication issue but the problem wasn't what was left unspoken, that never was the case. The problem was we were never alone, it was never just us. I was dating his past, and his wife's ghost was lurking behind the shadows. He was chasing his future without letting go of his past. And I was trying to deny my family and Carter's feelings, trying to escape the truth. There is no easy way to live, you can't run away from your problems. They always come back to haunt you one way or another. But not anymore… _Our tongues come together once more, the heat emanates from our bodies. We are aware of one another, but it's still not enough we need to be one, complete. His eyes are on me, petitioning for approval. And yet again no words are required to express consent, he already knows, we both know. Smoothly, firmly, without much a due we become one. It's like fire has suddenly entered inside me, he can feel it too. Gathering around us, inside me, inside him. My grip tightens around his waist claiming him, requesting him to go deeper, faster. There is no hesitation, his needs are mine and mine are his. With no delay his body demands mine, the heat, the fire, the passion is becoming unbearable as his speeds up. I close my eyes trying take the full extent of the experience. I can sense his coming close and goes even deeper inside me. The speed, the heat is almost indescribable, he finally falters. Climax, Nirvana, ecstasy, are no longer words when we reach it together as one with a gratifying kiss.


	21. Bad Things, Good Things

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning:_ This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews and a Special Thank You to Ella! ;)

* * *

I open my eyes and find myself laying on the couch. Luka's warm breathe is on the back of my neck, a small smile spreads through my face in the recollection of the previous events. The room is dark now, I'm not even sure how long we've been laying here just holding each other. The light from the street lamp creeps through the blinds illuminating the couch briefly. I turn around slowly to look at Luka, doing my best not to wake him. _He looks so peaceful now, as he has found in his dreams whatever makes him happy._ He has a smile across his face. His arms tighten around my waist, and his eyes open slowly. He closes them again trying to adjust himself to the darkness in the room.

"Hi." I whisper.

"Hi. How long have we been sleeping?"

"I'm not sure." I prop myself on my elbows trying to gaze at the clock in the VCR. "It's 7:30. I think we had some good sleep. Did you actually sleep well?"

"Yeah, that was great. Can't remember when I've slept so well, though now we are going to have a problem going back to sleep."

"I know." I turn around to look at him. I place myself once again in his embrace, the safest place I've ever known. He let's out a sigh and I know he's thinking of something important.

"Sometimes I wonder what would've happen if I hadn't left to get some food. Or if I'd taken Jasna with me as she wanted. She would probably be alive. Or what could've happened if instead of spending hours doing CPR on Jasna I would've stopped Danijela's bleeding. There are so many possibilities available... So many what if's... I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what if..." _Oh God, I know it was bad, but I never thought he had to go through that as in watching them die in front of him. _"As soon as I realized I was by myself I kept asking God why did I live? Why wasn't I dead like them? And then it happened again in Congo, why did I survive when the rest died? I keep surviving, living... the struggle most people endure have no meaning, no reason. I can't find a reason why a kid dies after being kidnapped for months and then the culprit lives. So many bad things happen..."

His words hang in the air, filling the room as if their expecting an answer, the reason. _I don't know why. I wish I knew. _

"You're right. There is no reason why those things happen, at least none that will make anyone feel better. But then again there are so many good things that also happen for no reason. Who would've thought I'd be in your arms again, like this after all this years? Who would've thought we are going to be having a baby in 6 months? Good and bad things happen. I know that now, you don't have to look a reason for them to happen... You just have to learn that no matter what, something good might come out of the worse situations. I'm not glad, happy or pleased your family died, or Sydney died... or any of the bad things for that matter, but I am happy we are here, holding each other... Together."

"I'm glad too. And I'm really happy we are together as well." Once again silence fills the walls within his living room.

"I never thought you'd turn out to be an optimistic on this matter." I know he's smiling now.

"Once in a while I can be. When things don't seem to be crumbling down on me. Just wait until I'm 8 months pregnant, my feet are swollen and I can't even get up from the couch, then we can discuss it. Or even better when I'm 10 centimeters dilated and I have to push."

"It's all worth it, once you can hold him or her, nothing else matters."

"I know that. I wish we could just skip the part were I'm going to be in pain."

"Are you going to want pain meds?"

"I don't know. I haven't given it much thought. If I feel I can go through it without any then I will. I don't want to take unnecessary medication if I can prevent it."

"Ok. That's fine by me, I just don't want you to suffer. Either way, I'll be there holding your hand."

"Yeah, well... I can start squeezing it now, just for practice." I'm grinning now.

"No, you're not! I have to work tomorrow and I need my hand fully functional."

"You know sometimes I think I'm dreaming. That none of this is real and I'll wake up in my bed all alone... by myself." I sigh.

"Ok, that sound more like the Abby I know and not the optimistic one."

"Very funny. I'm not kidding."

"I know. I'm real, this is real. We are together and you _can_ be happy".

"I hope so..." Suddenly my stomach grumbles.

"Don't tell me you're hungry again..."

"I've been since I've woken up, but I'm too cozy to even move. And I'm also tired. I don't feel like getting up."

"Is that a request for me to get you some food?"

I don't reply. I turn around and look at him straight to the eyes. Their glittering in the darkness of the room. _Sometimes I wonder if they change color depending on his mood. I swear I think they're green sometimes, but other times they seem blue. I hope our baby has his eyes. I can dive in the deepness of his eyes and be happy, only by looking at them. _In a quick move I kiss him on the lips.

"If you order some pizza the baby and I will be more than thankful."

"Pizza? You'll need to be more careful with what you eat."

"I know, but I'm craving pizza. Please!" My pout seems to succeed as he sighs. Gets up from the couch, walks to the phone and makes the call.


	22. Heart Beatings

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning:_ This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews and a Special Thank You to Ella! ;)

* * *

I wake up to the buzzing sound of the alarm clock. _I'm so tired._ I stop the alarm and turn around to find an empty bed. _Where's Luka?_ I get up and head downstairs. 

"Good Morning" Luka's sitting at the table reading the newspaper and having some coffee. His gaze follows me from the stairs till I reach the kitchen counter.

"Morning" I reply half awake.

"Want some coffee?"

"mmm, I don't think so…" I don't have time to say anything else as a wave of nausea approaches me. I run quickly to the bathroom.

"Here…" he hands me a glass of water.

"Thanks. I can't keep on doing this every morning. I thought morning sickness it's something to do with the first trimester."

"Well, at least is only during the morning!"

"Yeah right. I better take a shower or we are gonna be late."

He helps me get up from the floor. An hour later we arrive at County. We go to the lounge and I'm dropping my bag inside my locker when he says:

"You have Coburn's appointment today, right?"

"Yeah, at 4 pm. Are you coming?"

"I'm off at 3:30. I took a special shift just for this. I'm not going to miss it." He's smiling. Though his smile transfers his sadness as well. _What should I say?_

"Ok, well I'll see you later then."

"Ok." I grab a chart and head to exam 2.

As the day moves forward I start getting more and more nervous. Morris and I had to take care of a 5-year old boy who was in car accident. _No seatbelt! How can someone put a kid in the backseat with no seatbelt?_ The kid had a mild concussion and a broken arm. He was going to be alright but still I just yelled at Morris as it was his fault. _I was angry._ _Here I am concerned of being a parent and other people have kids they don't look after. I hope I can be a good mother. Please let me be a good mother!_ Luka overheard me yelling at Morris and came into the trauma room.

"Let's take a break." He grabs me gently by the arm and starts pulling me out of the room.

I turn around to look at Morris menacingly one last time.

"Abby?"

"Yeah. Coming."

We head to the ambulance bay and then to the coffee cart. After I have a hot chocolate in my hands I sit on the bench. He follows me and sits next to me.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I don't know why I snapped like that. It's just that Morris sometimes gets on my nerves."

"He gets on all of our nerves. But that's not why you are like this. Worried?"

I nod. "A little."

"Hey." He grabs me by the arm softly and pulls me into his warm embrace. I rest my head on his shoulder.

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

"It's normal to be worried."

"Well, wouldn't you? I mean, if they were going to stick a huge needle into your belly this afternoon?"

"I know. It's kind of freaky."

"Freaky?" I don't know how he does it but I'm laughing at his word selection.

"Ha ha." I look upwards and our eyes meet. He slowly bends down and finally our lips meet in a sweet kiss.

"Oh my God! You are both so busted!"

_What?_ I turn around to find Morris standing next to Ray, who's mouth is wide open in astonishment.

"Is there a problem, Morris?" I ask bewildered by his reaction.

"Em... No... actually it's great! Congratulations." he says and walks back to the ER trailed by Ray. _As if I needed his approval! Right about now I'd like to punch him. How does he dare?_

"I thought so... I think our break is over."

Once inside, Luka pulls me closer and whispers:

"I'll see you later. And please take it easy on Morris. As much as I would like to see you punch him, I need you to take it easy. Besides he's not worth it." He plants a small kiss and heads to the elevators. He has a meeting with Weaver. _He can be so damn cute sometimes!_

The rest of the shift went by rather quickly, I'm not sure whether it was because of my excitement or rather because I was in total oblivion.

"Ready to go?"

I was in the lounge daydreaming of what it's going to be like once the baby is finally here. _I'm going to be someone's mother._

"Yeah... We are going to my place tonight, right? I don't have any clean clothes at yours."

"Clean, or anything that fits?"

"Are you implying I'm getting fat?" _I can't be showing yet! Though technically he's right. None of the pants at his place fit me anymore. But I don't want to give in yet._

"No, of course not!" he replies almost instantaneously. "You look beautiful, you are beautiful." he whispers the last part while pulling me into his arms. He's holding me by the waist, smiling once again. _Oh that smile! Don't smile like that! It makes me want to kiss you._ Though as if he can read my mind his lips find mine in an adoring, gentle kiss.

"Hey, you should get a room!"

I close my eyes in my effort not to kill Morris for the interruption and for the stupid remark.

"Morris, why don't you go clear the board or something."

"I'm on a break. I needed some coffee, and besides you are not my boss!"

"No, she's not but I am. Anyway... let's get out of here." _I swear to God I wanted Luka to send Morris to disinfect some nasty injury full of puss!_ Luka's hand makes me turn around, head out of the lounge pass Morris and his insufferable personality.

_I really don't understand how Morris can get on my nerves in this way. Is it because of the hormones, or maybe it's just Morris. He needs to get a life, a real one._ We walk towards admin, Frank and Jerry are both looking at us. Intently, penetrating, it's as if they'd like to know the secret, to understand what's going on.

"Good night Frank, Good night Jerry." Luka says walking towards the door, gripping my hand tighter in his.

I'm still looking at the admin desk, daring Frank or Jerry to say something.

"Good night." The both reply in unison. Maybe they can sense I'm about snap and decide against it. _I guess they do have good judgment once in a while. Good call._

_

* * *

_

The room is painted pale blue, the light is smooth and yet not to bright. I feel naked with the hospital gown on me. The gurney is cold and a little uncomfortable. Coburn is examining me right now and Luka is standing right next to me holding my left hand with a huge smile on his face. _He looks like a kid in a candy store._

"Ok, well... everything looks great over here. How about we take a look at your baby?"

"Sounds great." Luka says.

I nod. I can't seem to say anything. Words have left me. There is a knot in my throat preventing me from emitting any sound. I'm nervous, and if it wasn't for Luka's hand clasping mine I would probably be shaking. Coburn cleans my belly with a swap of alcohol, then the ultrasound machine emits some sounds when turned on. The gel against my stomach is cool, smoothing. Coburn places the transducer against my belly and suddenly I want to cry. _Oh God... it's that our baby?_ The tiny figure appears on the screen, it's nothing big. If I hadn't seen thousands of ultrasounds in my life I would probably wouldn't get half of what I'm looking at. The baby seems to be swimming inside the amniotic fluid, happy, relaxed. _Baby, it doesn't look much like a baby but it's getting there._ At fifteen weeks the petit bump inside me is about 4 inches and weight approximately 2 and a half ounces.

Coburn was concerned about the pregnancy and due to my age we had agreed on doing an amnio. I'm terrified that the needle will harm the baby, though I know there is a low risk that would happen. After moving the transducer around my belly for about 15 minutes checking that everything is alright she says:

"Do you want to know the sex of the baby?"

"No." _No doubt. __No need to know. I just want it to be healthy._

"No?" That wasn't Coburn the one that asked. Luka seems to be rather disappointed at my reply.

"I don't want to know. There are few surprises left in life and I don't want to ruin one that will be a nice surprise in the end."

"You're sure?" Coburn asks.

"Yes, I'm sure." To sustain my point I even nod this time.

"Sorry daddy, seems like you'll need to wait on this one."

_She just called Luka daddy? Oh God…_ Luka finally sighs though I can tell he's excited at the prospect of being a father again.

"Ok, Abby I need you to relax now. It will take me less than a minute to take some amniotic fluid from inside, I just need about two tablespoons. Ok?"

I nod, and hold my breath. Luka holds my hand closer to him, trying to look brave though I know he doesn't like the idea of a long, thin, hollow needle trespassing my abdominal wall and straight into the sac that protects our baby. The penetrating metal against my skin feels cold. I feel a sharp pain. Like when you are getting a blood test. The container starts to fill with the amniotic fluid and not even 30 seconds later Coburn removes the needle and says.

"You did great Abby. Now, I need you to relax for the rest of the day. Don't you even think of lifting any ER machinery for the next couple of days, and if you feel any sort of discomfort, cramping, bleeding, you'll call me immediately."

_Cramping? Bleeding? Please God… none of those. I've had enough problems in my life already. _

"Yes, ma'am."

"Ok, now let's hear your baby's heartbeat to make sure everything is alright after the amnio. Shall we?"

_The heartbeat… that's going to be something. _

"Yeah." Luka's hoarse voice makes me snap from my daydream.

Coburn picks the Doppler machine which was right next to her. Within minutes the room is filled with the rapid, steady heartbeats of our child. _We created it. I'm in total bliss._ _I have no words to express the feeling gathering upon my heart._ Luka's hand clutches mine even more, his fingers intertwine with my own. His eyes begin to get watery and my own are doing the same. We look at each other smiling. He leans slowly and plants a sweet, affectionate kiss on my forehead. _This is amazing!_

"So Abby… How have you been? Morning sickness are over?"

"Nope. Unfortunately they are still making their presence every morning. I'm getting really tired of them."

"Well, that explains why you haven't gained much weight recently. It would be great if you gain at least 30 pounds by the end of the pregnancy."

I nod. _I'm going to look like a whale in the end!_

"Do you have any questions?"

"Not really. Do you?" I look at Luka's who has been silent since the heartbeat.

"No. I think everything has been cleared."

"Ok, in that case I'll see you both in a month and you should get the amnio results in about a week more or less. I want to have them ASAP. You can call in for the results if you want, I'll let them know at the front desk."

"Good. Thanks for everything."

"Well, take care. And remember to take it easy. I know you can be very stubborn when you want Abby, but sometimes it's ok to relax."

Luka laughs at Janet's words and I hit him playfully on the arm. _How does he dare! _

We leave Coburn's practice not long after that. No words have been said since the moment we stepped out of that room. Each one of us it's understanding what we had just experienced. What we've seen. _A baby... inside me. Our baby..._

We've reached the El platform and as the train approaches Luka's arms encircle my waist smoothly, making me go closer, tighter to him. His heart's beating strong, fast, like our baby's. He snuggles in my neck and plants a small kiss. I'm smiling, he's smiling. There isn't anything that can top this moment right now. _We are in total bliss._


	23. My Family

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.

_Warning:_ This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.

**This Chapter is more explicit so I would recommend to be more careful about it. Rating might be M. **

This is my first fic so...

Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!

I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews and a Special Thank You to Ella! ;)

_Sorry it took me so long for this update but I've been kind of busy with work and all. Thanks for the patience. _

* * *

"Luka wake up, you're going to be late." I'm shaking his shoulder. _He's looks so peaceful sleeping but Weaver is going to kill him if he's late._

"Eh?"

"Luka... it's 7:30. I thought you had a shift at 8!"

"I do! Oh my God. I'm going to be late." he runs to the bathroom mumbling something in Croatian; which I don't get of course.

"That's what I was saying!"

"You have a day off today, right?" he shouts from the bathroom.

"Yeah."

"Good, because after yesterday you need to relax. Take Coburn's advice. Please." He pokes his head out of the bathroom door to look at me intently.

"I will don't worry. I'm planning to do some shores and then just hang out in front of the TV or something."

"Shores?"

"I need some food... and other things from the supermarket."

"I'll be back around 7. If you wait for me, we can do it together. I don't want you carrying the bags. Remember, no lifting!"

"Oh right. Well, ok. I'll wait for you then. I guess I have nothing to do but catch up on my reading."

"Good. Ok, I'm leaving or Kerry will kill me." He comes out of the bathroom fully dressed. Kisses me softly on the lips and leaves.

"See ya tonight!"

"Ok."

Once the door of the apartment closes, I let myself sigh. _Ok, one free day all to myself and I don't know what to do. _I look at the alarm clock and it shows 7:45 am. _I could actually use some more sleep._ So I head back to the bed and wrap myself with the cozy covers. I pull Luka's pillow above mine and let his scent carry me to a sweet dream world.

I wake up with a start trying to understand why I did wake up. I look around the room and the sun illuminates it all. _How long have I been sleeping?_ Then I hear the phone ringing. I move across the bed to pick it up.

"Hello." I mumble barely awake.

"Abby? Did I wake you?"

"Maggie?"

"Hi honey, how are you doing?"

"I'm alright. How are you?"

"I'm ok. Just wanted to see how you've been doing lately. I haven't heard from you in a while."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry I've been kind of busy. I got the day off today so I decided to sleep a little longer. But it's already noon. I should be getting up. So what's up?"

"Not much. Here I am, working. On my meds, before you ask."

"I wasn't going to ask mom... It's up to you now if you want to look after yourself or not. Of course, I'll still be here if you need me... But sometimes it's better when I know that you are ok."

"I know. Sorry honey. I didn't want to upset you. So any news? Any new man in your life?" _Of course she had to ask that question. _

"New man? Well, not new but there is one if you need to know." _But I'm not giving it away that easy._

"Not new? But there is one! Oh... this means I know him?"

"Yeah, you know him." I'm smiling now picturing her face at the other side of the phone.

"Oh who is it?" _How do I tell her?_

"Well... mmm... It's Luka."

"Oh my God! You're back with the Euro Doctor! I'm happy for you! Hold on, are you happy about it?"

"Yes mom. Actually I am. We haven't been back together for that long though, since October more or less."

"And you didn't tell me? You should've called me with the good news!"

"I was going to let you know mum, but first I needed to know this is for real. That we weren't going to break up after a few weeks or something."

"I know what you mean. I want you to be happy Abby and if he makes you happy... I'm glad you found each other again."

I laugh at her remark.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing really. Luka's Christmas present was a compass."

"A compass? What are you planning to go sailing?"

"Not really, he said we always seem to find each other. That's why I laughed."

"Oh that's so sweet! I knew he had it in himself. He was kind of cute playing softball."

"Yeah, I know. Though not very good at it."

"Well, he can't be perfect in any way."

"He's fine the way he is. I wouldn't ask anything else from him. At least not right now."

"So is it serious?"

"Mum!"

"What? I want to know if I should start to organize a wedding or something."

"We are not getting married!" _At least no time soon. Let's have the baby and then we can talk about everything else. I should tell her about the baby, but I'm not ready yet. _

"You never now. Either way I expect an invitation!"

"Yeah, well... let's not get ahead of ourselves here."

"Ok. Sorry. I need to go now I have to get back to work. I'll talk to you soon, right?"

"Yes, I'll call you. Have a nice day."

"You too, and say Hi to Luka for me. Tell him not to let you go again."

"I will. Bye mum."

"Bye sweetie." And the call is disconnected. I leave the phone back on the stand and decide I need to have some food. _That was an interesting phone call. Maybe I'll call her once I know the baby is alright. I need sometime to get used to the idea... I don't even know how to tell her. Who would've thought I would be more scared to tell my mother than Luka!_

_The rest of the day went by smoothly. I had something to eat and then headed to my couch to watch some TV. Of course, there isn't anything good to watch. _Apparently, I dozed off again, because the next thing I know I hear a click on the TV and the room is dark, though the light of the kitchen it lighten up so it softly illuminates my living room. I look around and Luka's sitting on the coffee table staring at me.

"Hi… When did you come home? I didn't hear you come in." I say while I start to sit up on the couch.

"I know. You looked so peaceful sleeping. I called you an hour ago but you didn't answer."

"You did? I didn't even hear the phone. Oh God, I slept almost all day! How pathetic is that? My day off and I didn't do anything."

"Well, maybe you needed to sleep. You haven't been sleeping that much lately."

"How would you know that?"

"I sleep next to you remember?"

"Right. So how was your day? It's already 7?"

"It's almost 8:30." He says while he gets up from the coffee table and sits next to me on the couch. "It was alright. Same thing as usual. " His arms move around me, bringing his body closer to mine. I let my head rest on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"So, do you still want to go shopping?"

"Oh right. I forgot about that. I don't think I have the energy to move that much. Have you noticed that the more you sleep the more tired you feel? Or maybe it's just me."

"It happens to me too. But I guess it depends on how tired you were to start with, and I think you were pretty tired. The last couple of months haven't been easy on you."

"I know. I need to get up. Nature calls." I get up from the couch and start walking towards the bathroom. "What do you want to eat then? Because I don't think there is anything edible in here."

"Actually there is. I thought you'd be sleeping or something when I called and you didn't answer so I picked something up before coming here."

"You did?" I turn around to look at him. _I could kiss him right now._

"Yep. How does pasta sound to you?"

"Great."

"Ok then… I'll start the cooking and you go to the bathroom." He gets up from the couch too. Walks to the doorframe of my bedroom and plants a soft, tender kiss on my lips.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

We are having dinner at the kitchen table. Silence. No sound but the noise the forks make with the plates.

"This is really good." I finally say. "Thanks for cooking."

"No problem. So what did you do today? Besides sleeping…"

"Not much… Oh Maggie called." My eyes leave my plate to fall upon his own.

"And…? Did you tell her about the baby?"

"No. But I did tell her about us. She sent you a "hi"." I remain silent for a minute but I know his eyes are still on me. "I couldn't tell her, at least not yet. I need some time... I need to build some nerves. I don't know why it's so hard to tell her… It shouldn't be this difficult."

"She won't judge you know. And she will be happy for you. What are you afraid of?"

"I don't know. I… what if… she wants to come to meet the baby and she is off her meds?"

"We'll deal with that _if_ it happens. We can't start to think in what will happen if she shows up."

"It's just that everything turns up side down every time she makes an appearance." I sigh.

"She's your mother."

"I know. That means she is always going to be my problem."

"Why do you think of her as a problem? Yes, she is sick and so is your brother. But they're your family. You should be glad you can talk to them." _Because you can't talk to them. Is that what this is about? _"I know you are a great sister to Eric and you are going to be a good mother. But don't think of them as a problem. I'm here for you now, so if they come off their meds we'll handle it together."

"Ok."

I get up from the table carrying my plate to the sink. Luka does the same. His warm breath is on my neck. I start to do the dishes and he wraps his arms slowly around my waist. _How can I do the dishes when I have a sexy man breathing on my neck?_ He starts nibbling my neck, moving slowly to my earlobe, planting small sweet kisses all the way up. I close my eyes savoring the feeling. It's sending shivers down my spine, making me relax as I haven't done in a while. His hands leave my waist and take the plate of my hand dropping it gently in the sink. He turns the faucet off and engulfs his hands with mine. Soothingly he makes me turn around to face him. I open my eyes slowly to meet his gaze upon me. A little smile creeps from his lips before bending to meet my lips. I moan silently and his tongue probes inside me. _Oh God… _My arms move around his neck while his own encircle my waist once again, bringing him closer to me. Heat. That's what I can feel, heat gathering in the air, making me want him even more than before. The kiss ends and our lips part. I look intently at him. His fingers are playing with the hem of my shirt, and smoothly he moves them underneath it. Touches; gentle, relaxing, calm touches fill my back. Without rush he removes my shirt letting it fall to the kitchen floor. His hands keep moving downwards to meet my sweat pants, which he also removes with the same mellowness. I'm left only with my panties and he is fully dressed. I don't want to break the spell that it's surrounding us by speaking. He seems to understand, as my hands travel to unbutton his shirt; he removes his belt in the meantime. Moments later, we are both naked in the kitchen staring at each other, keenly, attentively. Our fingers intertwined, connected. His left hand moves gradually to my stomach. I'm not showing that much, at least not yet. Though here naked in my kitchen, with his hand touching it I can sense the living being inside me. Call me crazy but it's like a special bond that the three of us share. I smile. Maybe he can feel it too. He smiles. His forehead rests with mine, our eyes never leaving the link; communicating our inner thoughts.

Caringly our lips meet again his tongue seeks access inside me. Searching, exploring. I warp my arms around his neck, his own are on my waist. My body's taken upwards, compressed against his own. I have to part my legs to swathe him. Carried, I'm being carried to my bedroom. Steadily he drops me. He positions himself above me. Locked, once more our eyes are locked together. And yet again our lips meet. Raw, hungrily. His hands are all over me, my hands are all over him. His lips move, with the same passion as before he is kissing every inch of my body. My neck, my earlobes, my collarbone.

* * *

"That was amazing." 

"Yeah… Incredible. I'm exhausted."

"Tell me about it. Come here."

We snuggle together under the covers, our naked bodies entangled. Finally we drift slowly to sleep with a smile in our faces.


	24. Ten Bucks

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic._

_Warning: This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything._

_This is my first fic so..._

_Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!_

_I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews and a Special Thank You to Ella! ;)_

_Sorry it took me so long for this update but I've been kind of busy with work and I had a little problem with my computer. Thanks for the patience. _

_

* * *

__It's been a long day, I'm walking back home after being at the ice rink for about an hour. I needed time to think everything over. On days like this, I can't help but think life is to damn short to waste it. But then again sometimes I'm not even sure what this life it's supposed to be about after all._

I reach my apartment and open the door to find Luka sitting on my couch. _He is here. I'm in trouble._

"Hey." He says and turns around to look at me.

"Hi." I walk toward the couch and drop my bag at the side.

"You ok?" _Do I look not ok?_

"Yeah, just tired. Long day. How did you know I'll come here?"

"I didn't. You disappeared. I was kind of worried."

"Sorry. I needed time to think." I sit on the couch next to him after removing my coat and leaving it in the hanger. _I wasn't in the mood to talk._

"I didn't know you knew him."

"He was one of my professor's back in college… He didn't let me give up med school when I was ready to quit." I sigh. _Long time ago._

"Sounds like a great professor."

"He is. One of the best. It's hard to see him this way, he has so much energy but he's trapped in that body. I couldn't let him give up after what he did for me."

"I understand... So what did you tell him to get him back to the hospital?"

"I bet him ten bucks." I smile. _That's a good memory. I haven't thought about it in years._

He looks at me oddly. "You are kidding?"

"Nope."

"Ok, you need to elaborate here because I don't understand how ten bucks will make him go back to the hospital."

"It's easy... he bet me ten bucks I could get through med school."

"Oh. So you owe him ten bucks?"

"I guess I do. I never thought about it, as in real money."

"I know." We remain silent for a couple minutes until I feel Luka's gaze on me.

"What?"

"You were off two hours ago. Where did you go?"

"Ice skating."

"Ice skating?"

"Told you I needed to think." _I'm not talking about that._

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Yeah, I mean I hope it helped."

"I think it did." Suddenly the full extent of my exhaustion hits me when a yawn escapes my mouth.

"Wanna eat something before bed?"

"I'm not hungry. I think I'm going to sleep." I get up from the couch and start walking to my bedroom. I stop at the doorframe and turn around to look at him. "If you are hungry you should eat."

He walks to meet me and then whispers. "Do I have to worry?"

"About?"

"You not being hungry…"

I hit him playfully in the arm and turn around to go to the bathroom. He prevents me from going any further when his strong arms encircle my waist and bring me closer to his body. I turn around once again and finally relax, letting him hold me. He kisses me softly on the forehead "Get some sleep. I'll be in the living room if you need me."

"Thanks."

* * *

I'm getting really tired of Albright and Morris. I'm standing at the admin, Luka by my side, checking something in the computer when Albright comes chasing after Morris yelling at him he has to share and that's the end of the story. _What are they sharing? Oh God, please let me remove that image form my head._

Frank has to make one of his out of place remarks by saying he wants Weaver to have a chat with her one bitch to another. _Ok, that's it._

"You know what I'm getting really sick of this. Why does female plus tough have to equal bitch around here?"

Albright walks from the board. "You know what Abby, I don't need you to defend me. Thank you very much. I don't mind that guys think I'm a bitch, I kind of like it. At least they respect me."

_What? She is kidding me, right? _I looked at Luka while she was saying her little ramble; _please tell me she's kidding._

"Aha, so… if they don't think I'm a bitch, does that mean they don't respect me?"

"I got a hot appy waiting to be seen." _Yeah, run away you coward!_

"Bitch."

"Exactly." Morris adds.

"Morris." Luka finally says something though not what I expected.

Pratt walks in and greets everyone. "Morning folks."

Ray reply is to ask him "what price did he pull?" to which Pratt replies: "Excuse me?" _Do they have to answer a question always with another one?_

Morris has to add: "Last night at the auction."

_Oh right, I forgot about the whole thing. How much would I pay to date Pratt? Nothing… Thanks God Luka didn't go. I would've killed anyone that dare bid over him, though it would probably be good for charity. Pratt pulled 600 bucks?_

"Hey, good!"

"That's right there were a lot of lovely ladies willing to part with their cash for a date with a doctor."

Morris says a simple nice and then Pratt adds: "Only problem is that the winning bidder was a dude."

_What?_

Luka must be reading my mind because he asks: "A what?"

"I'm having dinner with a guy."

"Is he cute?" _Can I hit Ray, please?_

"He didn't stick around long enough for me to meet him Ray."

"Well, it's for charity." Luka says. _There you go someone with good sense, though he did laugh at Ray's comment._

"Look at the bright side, maybe he'll buy dinner." _Of course it had to be Frank the one to say that._

"As long as he doesn't assume that means anything."

"Yeah, no means no Greg. Ok?"

After each Ray and Morris say followed by Frank, Jerry's and Luka's laugh, I can't help it.

"It's really impressive how you can leap from misogyny to homophobia in a single bound."

Frank walks towards me. "Hey, you're the one who was just calling Albright a bitch."

"Oh yeah, after _you_ did and that's not the point anyway… The point is why is everyone so… bigoted around here."

"No more overnight for Abby." _Oh Ray, you didn't just say that!_

"Yeah Kovac, your woman is starting to sound a little kooky." _Ok, now who do I hit first!_

"Oh Morris, I swear to God, if you ever, ever refer me as someone's woman ever again I will slap you silly with this hole punch."

"Don't you mean bitch-slap?" _What's wrong with this two?_ Morris laughs at the joke.

"Ok, let's walk." Luka's hand clasps my arm gently and is making me walk away from the admin desk.

"I'm not kidding. I'm really not kidding." I let go of the hole punch on the desk, causing Morris to back out finally and drop his stupid smile.

"It's alright. They get it, they get it." I walk away and Luka follows me close behind. "You ok?"

"Yeah… No." _I have to tell him. Why am I so nervous?_ I turn around to face him. "Coburn's office is calling with the amnio results today."

"When's that?" He looks at me intently.

"Em, as soon as they open I think."

"Why don't you relax for a while and we can do the call together." _Because it's so easy to do._ But either way I nod. A trauma rolls in and Luka checks the gurney. He calls Ray, and looks back at me. "Try not to hit Morris with any desk tools."

"I'm not promising anything." _You are taking all the fun!_


	25. Week Sixteen

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic._

_Warning: This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything._

_This is my first fic so..._

_Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!_

_I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews (MauraFan288_, CarbyLivesOn, Peaky , SabineHolterman , Abbey06 , MyrtusII , PeterzGurl4 , Brenda Osler , Camerine, alibertine77 , S.equence , dancing with rosie , Dosia _) and a Special Thank You to Ella! ;)_

_Sorry it took me so long for this update but I've had a little problem with my arm and wasn't able to type. Anyway here is the next chapter._

_PS: I have no idea what's wrong with the ruler but it seems not to work for me. :(_

_°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°_

"Maybe we should just wait till the end of the shift because if it is bad news…" I'm entering sutures followed closely by Luka. I turn around to look at him.

"It's not… it's not bad news. Chances of having an abnormal amnio are what? One in a thousand?"

"Two hundred." _Oh God…_

"Still, pretty good odds." _You really think so? It's our baby we are talking about here!_

He picks the receiver of the phone and hands it to me.

"We'll be fine." _If I could only feel that way without worrying... I'm just too nervous. _

I get my cell phone from my pocket and show it to Luka. Press the speed-dial and wait for someone to answer. Luka puts the receiver back on the phone. _He looks nervous too._

"Hi, this is Abby Lockhart I think you have my amnio results."

"Yeah, let me check." The woman at the other side of the receiver says.

"She is checking." I whisper to Luka. He takes my left hand in his and then his right one over my wrist. He pulls me towards a close gurney so he can sit down and then with his right arm tried to make me come closer. I'm still a little reluctant and stay as far away as I can, _I can't be close if it is bad news_.

"Hi"

"Everything is alright. The results are normal." I finally let a smile come to my lips.

"That's great."

Luka closes his eyes and opens them again.

"You seem to have a perfectly healthy baby."

"That's great." He pulls me into his lap and hugs me while he smiles.

"No blood sensitization or any genetic disorders that we can determine."

"That's great. That's great, thank you." Luka pulls me into a kiss. _I can't stop smiling!_

"Would you like to know the sex of your baby?"

"No, but thanks again. Have a good day."

"You too. And congratulations."

"Thanks." I close the flip of my phone disconnecting the call. He kisses me again but this time he deepens the kiss. I place my arms around his neck and let him hold me.

"So everything is alright?" He says breaking the silence after a while.

"Yeah, nothing that the amnio could detect."

"That means you can relax now."

Chuny enters the sutures room and when she spots us on the gurney she looks at the floor. "Oh sorry. I just need the rapid infuser, have you seen it?"

"It's in trauma 2." I say while I get up from Luka's lap. _Well, this was weird._

"Thanks." She says and head back out.

"Let's get something to drink." _What? Oh…_

"Ok. I'll go get my coat."

"Meet you at admin I need to check on some labs first."

We walk outside silently until he says:

"So what do you think?"

"About what?"

"The baby's… the baby's sex is right there on that amnio report." _Oh that…! He isn't giving up, is he?_

"Did you know that X chromosome carries three times as much genetic material as the Y."

"And you didn't ask?" _No! And I'm not telling you she offered the information._

"Do you think that's why men are simpler?"

Luka swallows hard and then says: "Look, some nurse in Coburn's office knows the sex of our baby and we don't. Isn't that weird?"

"It's a little weird." _Ok, I guess it is… _

"So?"

"So…"

We reach the coffee cart.

"So… Coffee and apple juice please."

"Eh, two coffees please. I don't know… just makes it seem so real." _And more scary..._

"You're sixteen weeks, amnio is normal then it _is_ real." _Don't even say it…_

"Is there anyone we have to tell?"

He's paying for the coffees. "You should probably tell your mother." _My mother! Right..._

"Oh yeah, I was think about hold off on that."

"Till when?" _How about till the baby is born?_

"Till…"

I hear the sound of a car heading our way. Luka pulls me out of the way protectively and with a concern look he follows the car with his eyes. He looks back at me. "You ok?"

"Yeah. Isn't that Clemente?" We both run to the ambulance bay to check what happened. _And there goes the rest of the conversation, which I know it's not over._

_°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°_

_What a day… I'm at admin hanging out, while eating some ice cream._

Morris comes chasing Albright. "Change the orders!" _Not again!_

"This means war you know."

I hand him a form for the chart.

"Change the damn orders!" _I've never seen Morris act like this… as if… Oh… what is he twelve?_

Albright takes the chart from Morris's hand and walk away.

"Nice work Morris, she's been driving us crazy all day."

Haleh who is next to me adds: "Refuses to learn any of our names, calls us all nurse."

I'm going through the mail. _Nothing interesting here._ "She refuses to learn our names too. I think she is only interested in learning the male resident's names."

"I hate women like that." Morris says. _Yeah, right… you and your little crush…_

I look from Morris back to Haleh. Haleh finally walks away leaving me alone with him.

"Why you still here?" he asks me.

"Em, because my fridge at home is empty and I was hungry. You want a bite?" I offer him part of my ice cream.

"Didn't I see you eating one of those 20 minutes ago?"

I nod. "This is my third." It comes out muffled by the ice cream.

"Third? What are you pregnant?" _Oh God… Come on Abby think of something… Think._

I look at Morris, I start smiling, and add: "What? What are you talking about?"

Morris follows and points at me. I'm walking to the trash. "Oh my God you are!"

I throw the ice cream away and say: "You are crazy."

"You are, aren't you?" _How the hell do I get away from this one…?_

"No" I keep walking. _Just keep denying it._

"You are totally pregnant!"

I look around to check that no one can hear us: "So what? You are in love with Albright." _There you go!_

"No I'm not!"

"Oh, Morris! Come on."

"You shut up."

"You shut up too."

"You shut up first."

Pratt, who walks to the admin desk, "Shut up about what?"

I look at look at Pratt and then back at Morris. "Nothing."

"Nothing." _Yeah, that's what I'm talking about… nothing._ _I better get out of here before someone else finds out._


	26. Mother Talk

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic._

_Warning: This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything._

_This is my first fic so..._

_Anyway, I want to thank Eva (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!_

_I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews (MauraFan288_, CarbyLivesOn, Peaky , SabineHolterman , Abbey06 , MyrtusII , PeterzGurl4 , Brenda Osler , Camerine, alibertine77 , S.equence , dancing with rosie , Dosia, rizzo1 _) and a Special Thank You to Ella! ;)_

_PS: I have no idea what's wrong with the ruler but it seems not to work for me. :(_

_°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°_

_I got to Luka's apartment about an hour ago and every now and then I can't help gaze at the phone. Like it's calling out for me._ _I'd like to scream… _I get up from the couch and remove it from the receiver. _Ok, here I go, for better or worse here I go. _It starts ringing.

"Hello."

"Hey Maggie... It's me…"

"Oh Abby I'm so glad you called."

"I have some good news mum."

"What's the news?"

"Well, you are…" _Say it… _"You are going to be a grandmother."

"What? Oh my God, Abby this is great! I assume Luka's the father."

"Yeah, he is."

"Oh… Imagine the baby with his eyes! It's going to be gorgeous! Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? When are you due?"

"I don't want to know what it is. I'd rather have the surprise. And in July."

"Oh, a summer baby! How exciting! Hold on, you knew you were pregnant the last time we talked?" _Oh crap… now she is going to get angry…_

"Yes… I knew but I wanted to wait till we had the results from the amnio. I got them today. That's why I was calling."

"So everything is alright?"

"Yeah, more than alright."

"How is Luka taking this?" _Luka…? _

"He's thrilled, as expected."

"And you?" _Oh… let's go back to Luka…_

"I'm doing alright, I'm happy… I can't remember the last time I was and it's great."

"I'm happy for you Abby. Everything seems to be in its place for what you are telling me."

"For the time being, yeah… I'm scared it won't last long but I decided to live the moment. I better enjoy the ride in the meantime."

"Well, I'm glad you feel this way. So I'll need to stop by to meet my grandson or granddaughter." _Don't come yet… Please!_

"Yeah, I'll let you know mum. Luka and I need some time together right now; it's a lot we need to get used to…"

"Right, it's a change. Anyway, if you need anything call me. You know where to find me."

I hear the lock of the door and Luka comes in. I look at him and smile. He leaves his coat at the hanger and then walks towards me.

"I gotta go now. Talk to you later ok?"

"Yeah, ok. Love you sweetie."

"Love you too. Bye."

I disconnect the call and Luka's inquiring eyes are on me.

"Hi."

"Hi." He kisses me softly on the lips. "Was that your mum?" he asks while raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah… I guess I found some courage and decided to give her a call." I leave the phone back at the receiver and sit down on the couch.

"Good. How did she take it?" He walks to the couch too and sits next to me.

"Great, she is excited… Happy for us."

"See, there is nothing to be afraid of."

"You say that now that she is not here."

"Abby…"

"I know…" I sigh. "So how was the rest of your shift? Any news about Jodie and Clemente?"

"Not really… I'm not sure how he got into that mess, and I rather not know about it."

"I guess you are right."

"Want to get something to eat now or wait?"

"I'm not hungry right now… I ate some ice cream while in the ER."

"Ice cream? I thought you were going to eat better."

"I was in the need of some sugar. Oh… speaking of which… Morris knows I'm pregnant."

"You told him?"

"Not really he kind of figured it out when he saw me eating another ice cream."

"Another? How many did you eat?" _I did say another, didn't I? Oh now I'm busted!_

I look away trying not to meet his eyes.

"Three…"

"Three? No kidding he figured it out! This means I need to make something nutritive tonight."

"So now that Morris knows the whole ER will know by the end of the week."

"Good thing I talked to Sam today then." _He told Sam? Oh God, now how am I going to face her tomorrow? One thing is dating, another one is having a baby with her ex!_

"You talked to her?"

"Yeah, I had to tell her. I didn't want her to find out by other means."

"Right. How did she take it?"

"She was shocked, naturally." _No wonder._

"Well, she probably felt betrayed. I know you weren't dating when it happened but still… It hurts when your ex tells you he is going to have a baby with someone else." _This reminds me of that stupid letter._

"You felt that way when Carter came back with Kem?"

"Sort of… But at least you didn't break up with her through a letter that the whole ER read!"

"The whole ER read the letter?"

"Didn't you know? As the gossip mill works in the ER I thought you knew. Frank got hold of the letter, don't ask me how, but he did… and everyone had read it by the time I got it back." _I really don't want to talk about the letter, it makes me angry. After all this time it still makes me angry._

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I should've burnt it instead of tossing it in the garbage."

"That bad?"

"What?"

"I mean, you wanted to get rid of it… That bad?"

"Let's just say it wasn't… comforting at the moment." _Nice way to put it._

"I'm sorry I had to be the messenger of it."

"You had nothing to do with the letter. Besides you didn't actually give it to me so it's not as if I can tie the memory directly to you."

"I guess so…" he sighs.

"How about we get some food now? I'm getting hungry and the smell from the restaurant at the corner isn't helping."

"Ok, I'll cook something. Why don't you relax for while…? It was a long day."

"Either way I don't think I have much energy to move around." I grab the remote control of the TV trying to find something interesting to watch while Luka heads to the kitchen to cook. _What a day!_


	27. Coffee

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic._

_Warning: This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything._

_This is my first fic so..._

_Anyway, I want to thank Eva (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!_

_I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews (MauraFan288, CarbyLivesOn, Peaky , SabineHolterman , Abbey06 , MyrtusII , PeterzGurl4 , Brenda Osler , Camerine, alibertine77 , S.equence , dancing with rosie , Dosia, rizzo1 ) and a Special Thank You to Ella! ;)_

_Sorry it took so long for the update but I haven't been feeling well the last couple of days. Either way, thanks for the patience and I hope you enjoy the new update. ;)_

_PS: I have no idea what's wrong with the ruler but it seems not to work for me. :(_

_°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°_

_I can't believe we are in the middle of February. _I'm walking to the El and catch the train just before the doors close. I spot Neela right in front of me reading the paper and sit next to her.

"Hey, Neela!"

"Oh, hi Abby. How are you doing?"

"I'm alright... Actually I wanted to talk to you about something." _I should tell her already before she finds out and gets angry with me._

"Is everything alright?" she looks up from the paper and stares at me concerned.

"Yeah, everything is fine. I just... Well, you know about Luka and me..."

"So the secret is out. I heard Morris and Pratt talking about it yesterday. It seems the news of the week."

"What were they talking about?" _What can they be talking about those two...?_

"Well, about you… eh… sleeping with the boss."

"Oh... right. There is something else you ought to know. I wanted to tell you myself before everyone starts gossiping about it."

"There is something else? Oh, don't tell me you are moving in together?"

"Eh... no actually... we haven't discussed that yet." _Moving in together… that's the next thing to solve…_

"Oh… then what is it?"

"I'm pregnant." Her eyes snap open in amazement, after a while she finally speaks.

"Really?" I nod. "Wow... congratulations! Are you happy about it?" she's hugging me tight.

"Yes, I never thought I'd be happy to be pregnant but... I actually am."

"And I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks!" I'm smiling now.

"How far along are you?"

"Sixteen weeks."

"4 months? Why didn't tell me before?"

"I wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while... If it was for Luka he would've told the whole world about it as soon as he knew!"

She chuckles at my remark and then adds:

"Are you eating? You don't look like pregnant at all!"

"Tell me about it. I had morning sickness till last week. I'm glad it's over. Now I can really enjoy it."

"It probably feels different."

"It's weird... I don't know how to explain it. I still have some trouble facing it as real; there is a life inside me! We got the amnio results yesterday. Everything's fine... but either way it's still odd."

"Luka must be thrilled about it."

"He is..." I'm smiling thinking of Luka grinning.

We reach our stop and walk out of the El.

"Have you told anyone in the ER?"

"Morris and Sam know. Morris figured it out yesterday when he saw me eating two bars of ice cream. I don't expect him to keep his mouth shut though. And Luka told Sam last night. I don't know how I'm going to face her today."

"Good luck with that."

We walk through the ER doors, triage is full of patients. _This is going to be another long day._

_°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°_

I'm on my break. _Finally!_ After three MVA'S and been puked by a 5 year old boy, I walk to the lounge to find some peace.

"Hey Abby." Sam's sitting at the table flipping through a magazine.

"Oh hi Sam... Didn't see you there…" _Ok, so I guess I had to see her today after all._

"I'm not on for another 5 minutes and decided to get some coffee." She closes the magazine and looks at me.

"It's hell out there. I think all the loony's decided to come out. I really don't get it with the weather we are having they should stay home." I reach the coffee pot and pour some hot coffee in a mug. _The delicious smell of coffee…_

"I know." She's opens her mouth again to say something and then she seems to change her mind.

"Is everything alright?" I look at her trying to figure out what's on her mind.

"Yeah... I... I just wanted to congratulate you. Luka told me the good news."

"Oh thanks! I know this must be strange but I really appreciate it." I try to avert my eyes from her. _This is uncomfortable. _

"So you are still taking coffee?" _Why can't I have some coffee? It's not like I'm taking some every hour!_

"Not as much, but I don't think I'll survive the rest of my shift without a little help from caffeine."

"You're probably right."

The door of the lounge opens and Luka comes through it grinning like crazy. Sam gets up and heads towards the door. "Hi Luka… I gotta go. I'll see you out there."

"Yeah... see ya." I say and Luka's eyes are on me. I sit at the table.

"See ya" he says after a while.

"Hey, what's so wonderful?" _What's up with him?_

"What?"

"You are grinning."

"Oh, nothing. Is that coffee?" _What's with people and my coffee intake these days? _He serves himself some coffee and then sits next to me at the table.

"Yes it is. Is there a problem?" I ask while raising an eyebrow.

"Eh, no... Want to go out to dinner tonight?" _Dinner? Out?_

"Dinner? You mean no take out, or you cooking?" _What's going on with him today? The ER is packed and he's in such a good mood... have I missed something?_

"I thought we should go out, we haven't been out for a while."

"I'd like that. We can go to that Italian restaurant close to your place. I'm actually craving some pasta."

"Ok, then I'll meet you here when your shift is over."

"Deal... My break is over. I'll see you then." I get up from the table but before I can walk away he pulls me close to him, making me sit on his lap where he steals a kiss.


	28. Forgive

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic._

_Warning: This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything._

**This Chapter is more explicit so I would recommend to be more careful about it. Rating might be M. Skip the last two paragraphs if you want to make sure.**

_This is my first fic so..._

_Anyway, I want to thank Eva (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!_

_I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews (MauraFan288, CarbyLivesOn, Peaky , SabineHolterman , Abbey06 , MyrtusII , PeterzGurl4 , Brenda Osler , Camerine, alibertine77 , S.equence , dancing with rosie , Dosia, rizzo1 ) and a Special Thank You to Ella (Happy Birthday Girl!) ;)_

_PS: I have no idea what's wrong with the ruler but it seems not to work for me. :(_

_°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°_

"Ready?" I've been off for 15 minutes now waiting for Luka. I'm at the lounge reading a journal.

"Yeah. I was waiting for you."

"Well, I'm off. Come on, let's get out of here before something else happens."

"Ok." I grab my coat, which was on the couch, and put it on. Luka leaves his stethoscope and coat inside his locker, removing his own coat from inside. We head out of the lounge and quietly walk to his car. Once inside I say:

"I'm starving."

"Tell me you didn't eat any junk food today." He starts the car.

"I didn't, but then again I didn't have much time. Did you see the creeps that came in today?"

He nods and smiles. "Ok, is there something I'm missing here? I mean, you've been smiling and grinning all day!"

"Do I have to have a reason to smile?"

"Well, most sane people do. Come on, spill it out. What's going on?"

"There is nothing going on. I'm happy we are going out to dinner."

"Luka…!"

"Abby…!"

"You're not going to tell me?"

"I'm being honest. I realized we should be enjoying this time by doing things together. Having dinner…"

"We have dinner almost every night together. That's not it. Why can't you tell me?"

"You really think there is something to tell?"

"Well, let's put it this way… the ER was packed, Kerry was around making sure we cleared the board, Morris was acting like himself having stupid arguments with Albright, we had traumas rolling at least one per hour and you've been smiling non stop. Yeah, I think there is something going on! Please tell me what's the secret? Because I was puked on, I lost three patients and I'm really not in the mood to figure it out." _And now I'm getting angry._

He pulls the car over and parks it silently, still not saying a word. And still smiling, though now I think it's because of my rant. He takes the key of the ignition, removes his seat belt and turns around to face me. I'm looking at him intently.

"So?"

He sighs.

"Fine, you don't want to tell me then don't tell me." I remove my own belt and when I'm about to open my door he reaches my hand. He starts fidgeting with my fingers.

"You really want to know?"

"Yes! For God's sake, why would I be asking if not?" _Is he kidding me?_

"Ok, I'll tell you. But I'm not sure why it's such a big deal."

"It's a big deal because you've been smiling all day! And because you're making it a big deal. Just tell me please!"

"Almost five years ago…" he stops and looks out the window "Remember Bishop Stewart?"

"Yes, I do. He died… Five years ago, already? Wow…"

"Well, I was thinking about him today. We had a talk before he died, about pretty much why I had given up on faith, on God." He looks far away, thinking, remembering. "I was scared of letting go, I was scared of how to live and forgive after what had happened. But not only God, I needed to forgive myself for the choices I made. He helped me realize that. Though you were right when we broke up, I haven't completely let go, I was holding on to something still. Partly…"

"And you are smiling because of that?" _Ok, now he's definitely crazy._

"I'm smiling because for once in my life I realize I have moved on, I'm no longer scared of the future without them but looking forward to have a future with you and the baby. It took me five years to get here, and I'm happy because I have you to share it with. And that's why I'm smiling."

My eyes are watery now and I can't believe he said that. _Oh man…_ "Luka…" I whisper. He places his fingers softly on my lips.

"You don't have to say anything. I want to share the evening with you and have some fun. Ok?"

I nod. The lump in my throat's preventing me from emitting any sound. _How can he be so sweet?_ He gets out of the car and comes to open my door. I step out and we walk to the restaurant.

"Goodnight, Ma'am, Sir. Table for two?" A young man standing at the door smiles at us.

"Yes, please." Luka says.

"Smoking or non smoking area?"

Luka looks at me and then adds. "Non-smoking please."

"Ok, this way please." He takes us to a small table secluded from the rest by a fish tank on a corner and next to a window with a view to the lake. The water was glimmering under the moonlight, and the sky is cloud free. So smoothing and relaxing. _Beautiful._ "Someone will be shortly to get your order. Here is the menu in the meantime." I remove my coat and leave it on the back of my chair along with my purse. I sit down.

"Thanks." I take the menu and open it. _What should I eat, everything looks appealing. _

I look over at Luka, who is staring at his own menu attentively. He's frowning, and then flips over the first page. After a while he does the same with the second one. Suddenly he looks up and smiles. _Oh God, that smile… I was staring, and now I know I'm blushing, I can feel it on my cheeks. _I smile too and go back to my menu. _He's looking at me… I know he is… Stop it Abby, let's get something to eat._ _Spaghetti, ravioli… Oh I think I'm going to have vegetable ravioli… Now which sauce? _

"Good evening. Can I take your order?" the waitress says looking at us.

Luka's eyes are once again on me. "I'm going to have some vegetable ravioli with tomato sauce, please."

"And you sir?"

"I'm going to have the vegetable cannelloni with cream sauce, please."

"Ok, what would you like to drink?"

"I'll have a club soda."

"And I'll have a coke."

"Ok, I should be right back with your order."

"Thank you." I hand her my menu and after she takes Luka's she leaves.

I look out the window and sigh.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, a little tired. It was a long day. Look at the moon, it's almost full."

"It's beautiful. I like how it reflects on the water. We could take a stroll after dinner if you want."

"Yeah, that would be nice, though no muggers this time." _Why did I say that? _I look at him and he's looking through the window still.

"I don't think we should worry about them tonight." He smiles and slowly his right hand finds mine on the table. Our fingers intertwine.

"Here are your drinks." I look up to see the waitress back with our drink. "A club soda and a coke. Anything else that you'd like?" She places the club soda in front of me and then the coke next to Luka.

"No, that would be all. Thanks." He says. The waitress leaves once again.

"So, you were saying you had a crappy day."

"I've had worse…"

"Well, it's not over yet, we could make it better."

"Really? Any ideas on how to improve it?"

"I already suggested a few… I mean, dinner, a stroll… do you have any other ideas?"

"I'll have to think about it."

He's grinning again and I'm doing the same. The waitress interrupts us with our food. "I hope you enjoy it."

"Thank you." I say and look at my plate. We eat in silence for a while, each one of us mesmerized with the delicious food. _Wonderful._

"I assume it's good… by the lack of conversation here."

"Yeah, it was wonderful. I was really hungry." My plate is empty by now.

"I can tell." He says while laughing.

"Hey, I think I wasn't the only one." I say while pointing at his plate.

"There is still chocolate ice cream at your place, right?"

"You want ice cream as dessert?"

I nod. After he paid for the dinner we walk outside. We start walking slowly towards the lake. I wrap my arms around me, bringing my coat closer.

"Cold?"

"Just a little." He comes closer to me and places his left arm protectingly around my shoulders. We keep walking in silence. _Five years since the Bishop? So much has happened since… and still so many things are still the same. _

"What are you thinking?" We've stopped walking and I didn't even notice. We are standing by the lake. He's embracing me from behind. I sigh. I turn around and look at his eyes.

"About how far we've come… five years ago, we were together but I don't think I've ever been closer to you as I'm now."

"I know." His forehead's touching mine.

"I can't believe it's been already five years. You were distant before the Bishop and I knew it had affected you somehow, I just didn't know how."

"Me neither. I was in some sort of denial back then. I was running away without getting anywhere."

"I guess you can see it with other eyes now that it's been a while."

"Yeah… I guess we can."

"So you forgave yourself?"

"I did, it took time. And so many things had to happen in between."

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't think I would've been able to move on if we hadn't broken up the way we did. I know it's awful to say this, but after we broke up I touched the bottom. In order to put myself together I had to move on. Africa helped somehow… I was going nowhere before." _Is he talking about the car crash with the viper? And about the break up…_

"What I said that night…"

"What you said that night, as much as it hurt, made me realize if you believed that was a possibility then there had to be some truth on it as well. We tend to say things that we don't mean when we are angry, but sometimes they also have some truth."

"Luka…"

"Look, that night we said some nasty things. Now we both agreed we had forgiven each other, right?" I nod. "Ok, so then let's not get over that again. I'm just telling you that it helped to know how you felt, even… if it was that way."

"Ok." He kisses me softly on the forehead.

"Let's go home, it's getting late and you are cold."

The drive back home has been quiet. I can't stop thinking about what he told me. He's looking attentively at the road, his smile gone. _He smiled all day at the hospital and now he's smile is gone. He forgot he was supposed to smile? I rather have him smiling… Come on Luka, smile again! _We reach his apartment, he parks the car and we get out. Once inside the apartment I go upstairs and Luka goes to the bathroom. I grab a tank top and some sweat pants. I undress myself and put them on. I head to the bathroom after Luka comes out. _He is still not smiling._ By the time I crawl in the bed he's already there resting on his back.

"Are you alright?" I ask him.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I guess I was tired too."

"I think I'm going to leave the ice cream for tomorrow."

He looks at me. "Are you ok?"

I nod. He pulls me closer to him. I rest my head on his chest. Beating, I can hear his heart beating. Steady and even, soothing me. My eyelids begin to close slowly. Luka's right hand is caressing my hair, and slowly travels to my back. He kisses my hair delicately. I sigh. His hand reaches the hem of my top and linger on the small of my back. I wrap my arms tighter around him. I look upward and meet his eyes. He's looking absorbedly at me. He smiles. _There you go, he's smiling again._ I smile. He leans forward and kisses me tenderly on the lips. Gently. We snuggle closer. _This is nice, we should stay like this._ He kisses me once again on the top of my head. My right hand is playing with his shirt.

"What time do you have to be on tomorrow?"

"Eight."

"Did you put the alarm?"

"No."

I turn around and grab the alarm clock off the night table. I program it for six-thirty. "Six-thirty, right?"

"Yeah." I leave the alarm clock on the night stand again.

Luka's breath is on my back. He hugs me closer to him, spooning me from behind. He removes my hair from my neck and plants a sweet kiss. His hands travel to my stomach, under my tank top. I smile to myself as he draws circles on my abdomen, embracing our baby. Finally, I turn around unhurriedly to face him. His eyes are closed, his lips moist and parted. I caress his cheek with my right hand. His stormy grey eyes meet mine. The room is dark but the light that creeps from the blinds illuminates his face in a soft golden sheen. His eyes are glowing in the dark. His lips come to meet mine in a tender kiss, slow kiss. I welcome it. We don't seem to want to end it, break the connection our lips have established. His tongue finally parts my lips, questioning. Inquiringly. As if asking permission. His hand removes a strand of loose hair that's fallen over my face. Ended, the kiss has ended. We look at each other, I sigh. His dark lashes flutter softly, his lips are tempting and delightful. He is beautiful. I gaze at the wonder piece beside me and I kiss him this time. I need his lips on me. I want to savor his rich musky taste. I want to be engulfed by his glorious scent. I kiss him this time, I need his lips on me. All over me. _I can't get enough of him._ And he doesn't object. We part once more. A soft kiss on my forehead. A shared glance, and then our mouths come together, searching, exploring. A kiss is followed by another and another, each one more desperate. _How long can we keep this going?_ His taste is inimitable; a combination of deep, mahogany with a dash of spicy cinnamon. Tender and coarse. He's a living paradox. And the desire increases steadily. Hands; moving, seeking… warmth. The warmth traveling along with his hands to my belly, my back. His silk touch sends shivers down my spine. My hands roam through his chest, under his shirt. Accessories, clothes are just that. We don't need them. Air needed to breathe. Stop, the kisses have stopped. He looks at me, asking, requesting permission. His hands start removing my tank top, gradually. There is no rush. Tonight there is no rush. It reaches the top of my head, flying through space, depositing itself gracefully on the floor somewhere in the room. His shirt comes off revealing his skin bit by bit, and joining my shirt on the floor. His hands are on my body, massaging, fondling. Gently exploring every curve, every valley. I feel myself moisten at his touch. He's discovering places I never knew existed. I arch my back involuntarily thrusting my hips closer to his… He props himself on his elbows and looks down at me. Smiling.

We kiss, the need to feel is greater. Savoring the experience, the sensation. His naked chest on mine, his body pressed against me. His hands are wandering through my body, my back… they reach their warm welcome destination. Superfluous garments are withdrawn from our bodies joining the pile on the floor. The yearning is building around us, through us, within us. Naked, our exposed bodies meet, entangled. We embrace, we kiss, we converge, we join. We are one. Gasps, moans and pants follow. Hot. Chokes for air, the need to extinguish the flame building inside; me, him, us. It increases, grows, expands, concentrates. The feeling magnifies, amplifies. We shiver, tremble, we quiver. We come.


	29. Names

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic._

_Warning: This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything._

_This is my first fic so..._

_Anyway, I want to thank Eva (Bel Vezer) for her support and help with this fic. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!_

_I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews (MauraFan288, CarbyLivesOn, Peaky , SabineHolterman , Abbey06 , MyrtusII , PeterzGurl4 , Brenda Osler , Camerine, alibertine77 , S.equence , dancing with rosie , Dosia, rizzo1, elohimdancer319 and last but not least __Ella. ;)_

* * *

"We are staying at your place tonight, right?" Luka's voice comes out from the bathroom.

"Yeah, I need to check my mail, messages… do some laundry. I haven't been there for a while; the place must be a disaster." I turn around to look at him come out of the bathroom. I get up from the table and leave the coffee mug inside the sink.

"Ok, then I should take some clothes with me today. You're on till 5, right?"

I nod. "Speaking of which, we are going to be late. Ready?"

"Give me a sec, I'll be right back." He heads upstairs, while I go to look for my coat. I'm putting it on when he comes back down carrying a change of clothes, I assume inside a bag. He picks his keys from the table and we head outside.

Though it's almost March the air is still cold. We get into his car. After a while we fall into a comfortable silence. I'm staring out the window, the car stops at the light and Luka uses the opportunity to turn the radio on. Barbra Streisand's voice fills the car and I stare at him. _Is he planning on leaving that song? I'm gonna fall asleep. I need something more…_

"What?"

"Did I say something?" I ask.

"Not really but you are thinking something." _Of course, I'm thinking something._

"Yeah, so…"

He continues driving and then adds: "You are not going to tell me to change the song or put something more your style?"

"Is that what you think I'm thinking?" I want to laugh but I'm trying to suppress it.

"I don't know what you are thinking. I'm not inside your head. I'm just stating that you usually want to hear something different when we are in the car."

"Well, Barbra Streisand… this time of the day… isn't… what… I would choose."

"If it was for you, you wouldn't choose it at all no matter the time of the day."

"I didn't say that!"_ I've got to defend myself. It's not like we are in a peaceful moment at home or I don't want to move from the coach, the remote being to far away. _"What I mean is that I need to wake up and this is too mellow for me to do so. Or you give me more caffeine or you change the song."

"You already had coffee and I don't think caffeine it's what you need right now."

"Oh really… Since when do you know what I need?"

"Either way, the song is over. Happy?"

"Of course, change the subject. Any other subject you want to talk about? Since you know what I need, maybe you know what I want too."

"Barbra…"_ What did his coffee have this morning?_

"What are you talking about now?"

"Do you like the name Barbra?"

"You want to name our baby Barbra?"_ Is he serious?_ I look at him but he's keeps facing the road.

"You told me to change the subject… So have you thought about it? I mean names for the baby?"

_Names… Well, not really. How can I think of a name when this is just happening? Once he or she has a name it's even more real. It's a human being with a name! Oh God… We get to name someone!_

"Abby?"

"Eh? Oh sorry… I spaced out. I haven't thought about it really. It's gonna be even more real once we choose a name."

"And… as you don't want us to know the gender we need to think more options."

"You are complaining you have to choose a name for each gender? Are you kidding me?"

He pulls the car in the parking lot and turns it off. I unbuckle and get off the car.

"It would be easier… if we know what type of names we need to think about. Or what color the clothes have to be." Easier? Maybe… but I don't know how easy it's going to be once the baby comes.

"Besides I thought you would bring a weird Croatian name to the picture."

"Weird Croatian name? First you tell me I have Turkish mud and make gastrointestinal adventures; then I might have a mutant Croatian seed and now Croatian people have weird names? What's next?"

"I didn't say you had awful names! I said they are… well, they are different."

"And different is bad?"

"No! Of course not! I just thought that you wanted to have a name that would work also in Croatian."

"Well, she or he is going to get the Kovac so… that would make is pretty much Croatian. We need something to go along with that."

We reach the ER and head into the lounge.

"You want to name our baby Barbra Kovac?"

I put my things inside my locker. Get my lab coat and stethoscope out.

"I was bringing the subject up!"

I put my coat on; I look at him one more time before I head out of the lounge followed closely by him.

"Ok, so now that you have…" _Is that what I think it is?_


End file.
